A Resting Place

Desperately Seeking Blogger

2010-05-17T14:11:00.006-04:00

I decided the best way to let everyone about this change was to post it on each blog! Attention, faithful followers, please don't leave me!!! After reading the following, go over to Celebrating Everyday Life and party with me!

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Ever since I started this blog, I've been having a blog identity crisis. Well, no more. I'm deciding (kind of with a heavy heart) to combine my two blogs. Eeeekkk. I know, I need therapy.

I've been posting over at A Resting Place for several years, now, and part of me feels like I'm quitting on her. But, really, I just want the two to become one. Now, I sound like I'm coaching one of my newly engaged couples.

This morning, as I was trying to sit and write a post that would be meaningful and encouraging, I kept being interrupted. The three year olds kept needing something, the kitchen was a disaster, and I had a meeting in an hour. After about 10 interruptions, I frustratingly hit the quit button. It made me realize that trying to keep up 2 blogs just isn't possible right now.

As is my custom, I can't incur a transition without celebrating it. So, I'm going to throw my first party over here. I'm giving away one of my super cute and BRAND NEW mini market totes. See and drool...

If you haven't noticed these amazing market totes, they are the best things ever. I use my big ones all the time, and this new size is just so cute. Perfect for picnics, graduation gifts, bridesmaids gifts, or just leaving in your car to bring all your junk to and from your house. Not only that, but I'm gonna throw in a funky charm bracelet just to make it a little more enticing.

Now, to make this transition fun for me (because you know it has to be fun for me, too!) I'm asking that you "follow" this blog and then leave a comment letting me know which mini market you would want! If you're super competitive and want an extra entry, link back to this post from your blog, and then comment to let me know you did the "extra credit". (And if you are already a follower, just leave a comment, and I'll still enter you!) You have til' midnight on Thursday the 20th to link up. I'll announce the winner on Friday!

Change isn't always easy, but I know that with your help, even this little change in my life could be a really great way to celebrate everyday life.

Oh, and I can't wait to tell you about the graduation party I designed last weekend!!

The Gift of a Girl

2010-05-07T11:13:00.007-04:00

Recently, I've been going on dates with my daughter on Friday mornings. It didn't start as a "planned" event, as you might think. No, the Lord has actually been very kind to give us this time together, and it has all been His idea.

A few weeks ago, we were going to be going separate ways for the weekend, and so I thought a morning date would be a fun thing for us to do before school started. So, we woke up early, and grabbed her God's Little Princess Devotional Bible, and had a fun time of eating ChickFilA for breakfast and talking about the Lord together. After having such a sweet time that morning, I thought how much we needed that time together, and how it really could be a weekly thing. So, for the past few weeks, we have continued the tradition, and have been going through the women of the Bible. And, it has been such a blessing.

I have always felt that the relationship between a daughter and mother is one of the most complicated relationships there is. Not only is it a challenging one, it is most crucial to remain vigilant about the enemy's schemes to divide. My daughter is the sweetest of girls, however, even the sweetest of girls have the sinful nature that women tend to have.

I guess it really started about the time she turned two. It was as if I could all of a sudden see flesh patterns really beginning to come out. Since then, I have struggled with having my feelings hurt, feeling manipulated, or holding grudges because of being intentionally mistreated. I have felt rejected and controlled, and unable to understand why she would have such strife with me. Of course, Daddy is her hero, and can do no wrong, and she could snuggle with all day, but the second I try to hug her, she's off. I have seen first hand her manipulation, control, and defiance.

I remember when she was only 3, having a dispute with her about something, and then her stomping down the hall as loud as she could and slamming the door behind her. As much as I wanted to storm in after her, yelling that she "WOULD NOT EVER DO THAT AGAIN!", I quickly felt the Holy Spirit, grab the back of my shirt to hold me back, and then very gently say,

"Don't do this. Don't start this. Don't allow this type of fighting even have a foothold in your relationship."

It was as if, I saw her at 16, and me at 40something and screaming at the tops of our lungs at each other and having wounds that ran too deep to know how to have healing. And I knew, I did not want to start it.

I am the only one to teach my daughter what a woman of God looks like. I am the one that will really be her teacher. Sure, she'll have lots of role models, and mentors, but her real live, first hand, in person example, is...big ol' me. And boy, do I feel small.

I have known for a while that I would have to be relentlessly pursuitful of my sweet girl. Otherwise, it won't just happen in our crazy life. I will have to choose to pursue her. Even when she is rude. Even when she doesn't treat me well. Even in the face of rejection and disdain. I will have to be the one to be the leader in loving her with Christ's love. To not allow the enemy use my insecurities and fears to play out against each other.

More than anything I want to show her how much the Lord loves her. How to trust in Him when all else fails. Because all else will fail. And how much I long for her to fully believe Him. Because only in Him is truth found. But first, I need to know how much He loves me. I need to believe Him. I need to trust Him. Only then, will I have the strength to know how to listen and how to talk. How to train and how to love. How to be a mom to this precious gift of a girl.

Good Things in April

2010-05-01T22:37:00.003-04:00

Apr 1 - River had a friend come over and I had a blast with taking the kids all over tarnation... downtown, Chick-Fil-A, Artquest, library, then scored some awesome clearance deals at TJ Max.

Apr 2 - Went to a friend's house for an awesome playdate/improptu Easter party

Apr 3 - YARD SALES!!! oh, wow, did i have fun this month at yard sales.

Apr 4 - Easter was glorious.

Apr 5 - so had a great night at dance, then had fun watching 24 with Randy, and then around 11pm started reorganizing my closet...and didn't stop until i was done.

Apr 6 - Mother Goose came to the Glenwood Library and she rocked.

Apr 7 - taught a bunch of K-2nd graders some poems and talked about National Poetry Month a lot...whether or not they wanted to hear about it. ;)

Apr 8 - had a great Bible study, and was challenged to trust more deeply.

Apr 9 - had a really good sit with the Lord.

Apr 10 - had fun grilling out with friends.

Apr 11 - Started the day by hanging out having coffee with my big sis. And then got to have Juice Shop and play at the park. Very fun.

Apr 12 - usually this day is a really hard day for our family, and this was the first year that we actually all really were giddy and happy and looking forward to things to come.

Apr 13 - started this blog. which was a really good thing, but is now causing me to have a little bit of a blog identity crisis, but oh well.

Apr 14 - read lots of nursery rhymes to the kids and made fun crafts to go along with them.

Apr 15 - designed this event

Apr 16 - talked too long at a sweet friend's house and enjoyed every minute of it

Apr 17 - had fun at yard sales and got an awesome booth for our breakfast nook for next to nothing! and got to dress like a pirate and say arrgghhh a lot at the Hoot's pirate party.

Apr 18 - went out to the country and came in second in a hollarin' contest. can you believe i didn't win?

Apr 19 - stayed home all day and let the kids just play play play.

Apr 20 - got to aerobics for the first time in about 2 weeks.

Apr 21 - went to Wholesale sale and went a little crazy...and got to see my tutoring kids learn from a llama. always fun.

Apr 22 - went BACK to the sale, and went a little more crazy.

Apr 23 - had an early morning date with river. later, went to park with Asher, Maddie, and Taylor and hung out with some other moms and kids. And went out with some friends for dessert.

Apr 24 - went to breakfast with my sweet friend and then headed to the Beth Moore simulcast.

Apr 25 - enjoyed coffee, baked cookies, went grocery shopping, and then headed to pick up our kids. felt like we couldn't get to them fast enough!!!

Apr 26 - loved watching my daughter dance.

Apr 27 - researched some really fun things for events, and met with a newly engaged couple.

Apr 28 - this day was NON-STOP...i mean, literally, the WHOLE day. it was filled with lots of good things, but i was really happy when the day was done, and i laid down my head. that was the best thing.

Apr 29 - watched my talented little sister do a benefit concert for her senior project. she's amazing...in so many ways.

Apr 30 - all i had on my calendar was to meet a friend at the park for a playdate...it was wonderful. and had a lot of fun with my sweet little boy.

Kari's having the link up over at her place, so get your good things together and go party!

Coming to a Close

2010-04-30T08:41:00.003-04:00

This month has been really fun to celebrate poems and songs. I've even tailored my preschool lessons to teach each of the kids poems that they could remember. Down to the sweet little 8 month old baby I keep...her favorite by far is patty cake. And dance little baby. Asher and Maddie love Baa Baa Black Sheep, and Little Miss Muffett the best. Of course we did crafts to correspond with each. And then River's new favorite song is I Will Sing of My Redeemer. It's really sweet to hear her sing the words as loud as she can. It was on an Easter CD that I made this year, and I love how it's come to be a favorite. However, I try to get away from my old standby's, my favorite by far is still this old hymn.

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,

Tune my heart to sing thy grace;

Streams of mercy, never ceasing,

Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,

Mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;

Hither by thy help I'm come;

And I hope, by thy good pleasure,

Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

Wandering from the fold of God;

He, to rescue me from danger,

Interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for thy courts above.

Go see what other poems have been in cherished at Kari's. And even though we may only put a poem in our pocket once a year, remember to keep them close always.

Heritage from the Lord

2010-04-24T07:11:00.004-04:00

My little ones are away at the beach this weekend with their grandparents. I came home from dropping them off, and I immediately begin to think, "How can I make the MOST of my time? Should I clean the whole house, and do all the laundry, and reorganize my closet, and then go out for a little while?" You think I'm crazy...and I kind of am.

My hubs had to work last night, and as silly as it seems, as I was fixing my own dinner, in the silence of my house, I felt a twinge of loneliness. Sure, the quiet was really relaxing at first, but then, it was almost too quiet. To alone.

It's wild how these little creations, that you never even knew would be there, come into your lives, homes, and families, and begin to be a part of your heart. And then they begin to move into all of your heart. And when you're not with them, as one of my dear friends used to say, "you feel like you're walking around with your heart outside of your body". A very true statement indeed.

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him." Psalm 127:3

Finding His Grace

2010-04-19T07:16:00.005-04:00

Yesterday at church, a friend of mine gave a message about knowing God's grace in the midst of trial. And, last week, the message at Bible Study was about knowing joy in the midst of struggle. It feels like this message has been one of the main things that the Lord has been speaking to me lately, which makes me starts to think, "Lord, what's coming?!" And, of course, the enemy would love nothing better than to make me sit in fear and worry about what struggle might be waiting around the corner. As one who has struggled with fearing what hardships my future may hold, this can be pretty tempting.

I love how in 2 Cor. Paul tells how tempted he is to trust in his own strength. I think if we were really honest, most of us would say that it is much easier to trust in our own strength, and to know that we can handle the things of this world on our own shoulders. That when trials or suffering comes, to just believe in our selves and our own strength. To remind ourselves that we're strong, and capable, and able to make it. But the truth is, that He doesn't want us to do it alone. That he said to Paul, the most capable, talented, and knowledgeable man of God,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9)

He doesn't want us to handle life on our own, or try to muster up the strength to make it through. He wants us to become weak, and in our place of desperation and need, to see how sufficient His grace is for us. How His power is made perfect in our weakness. He did not shed His blood and lay down His life so that we could walk this life alone, but that in all things, ALL THINGS, we would know...

"the secret of being content in any and EVERY situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who GIVES ME STRENGTH." (Philippians 4:12)

It frees me from worrying about the future. What trials or hardships I or those I love might face. Or from hoping and praying to not have struggles or pain. The secret is not to avoid pain and suffering. Nor is the secret learning that we can do everything on our own. The secret is to allow ourselves to be made weak, and to surrender to His strength, His power, and His love. I pray that whatever you're in the midst of, that you would know His strength, and that you would allow His power to be made perfect in your weakness. Only then, are we truly strong.

Trading Spaces...

2010-04-15T07:27:00.002-04:00

So, I'm not officially "trading". I just feel a little guilty hitting publish over there, without having something new over here! I've always wondered how those of you do it...you know have more than one blog to keep up? But the two are so separate in some ways, that I don't really feel like I can keep them together. I'll continue to post things about our personal life, or random things I might be thinking of over here, but the more practical tips and ideas that will help you celebrate everyday life, will be going over there.

It's all lonely over there, though, so come visit me! I'm not always the best about change, and you guys are so fun to have around!!!

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Weekend

2010-04-12T06:33:00.006-04:00

shoulda caught up on the laundry,

coulda sorted through the spring clothes,

woulda been ready for monday,

but a yard saleing i chose to go.

shoulda gone out and done yard work,

coulda planted that new bed,

woulda made it all pretty,

but rested my head instead.

shoulda done more spring cleaning,

coulda washed and scrubbed the floor,

woulda even done some dusting,

but i blogged a little bit more.

shoulda gone out and got groceries,

coulda had the fridge looking a lot less stark,

woulda been set for the week,

but the kids and i went to the park.

shoulda finished my checklists,

coulda started some new projects, too.

woulda felt all productive,

but hung out with friends and ate good food.

My Path to Life is Free

2010-04-09T08:18:00.005-04:00

One of my favorite things to do in the morning, is to sit by my front window, sip my coffee while I watch the birds and squirrels, and for a few quiet minutes before the rush of the day begins, take the time to be still. I'd like to say this happens every morning without fail, but alas, I cannot. Many mornings, I like to begin by reading a hymn. Especially, this month, I have been loving this routine.

Last night, I was reminded of how though our circumstances may not change, or may change for the worse, still our joy and our strength is found only in Christ. That His grace is sufficient...not just for those people somewhere out there, having a really hard time, but for me, in my everyday difficulties and hardships. Those times when I think to myself, "if only________would change, I could be more happy or more at peace or a better friend/wife/whatever." Or when the enemy would like to convince me that, "I can't do this anymore", that instead, my focus would be that of the servant Paul, that in all things, I could say...

"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phil. 4:12-13

We're not supposed to be able to handle this life, or the hardships it brings. We're not supposed to be able to grin and bear it. We need Him to give us the strength. And only in those difficult places are we able to see how much we need Him. I thought it fitting that today's hymn that I read said it so eloquently...

In heavenly love abiding,

No change my heart shall fear;

And safe is such confiding,

For nothing changes here.

The storm may roar without me,

My heart may low be laid;

But God is round about me,

And can I be dismayed?

Wherever He may guide me,

No want shall turn me back;

My Shepherd is beside me,

And nothing can I lack.

His wisdom ever waketh,

His sight is never dim;

He knows the way He taketh,

And I will walk with Him.

Green pastures are before me,

Which yet I have not seen;

Bright skies will soon be o'er me,

Where darkest clouds have been.

My hope I cannot measure,

My path to life is free;

My Saviour has my treasure,

And He will walk with me.

Amen.

hymn by James W. Elliott

A Lesson from the Birds

2010-04-07T14:14:00.004-04:00

With it being National Poetry Month, I once again, have gotten excited about poetry. My friend who always inspires me to read more, is doing a fun thing over at her blog at the end of this month, which I definitely plan to participate in. However, throughout this month, I hope to bring some cheer with poems or songs that have stuck out to me.

Last night we went to our library to hear Mother Goose (who was completely awesome) read several of her rhymes, and do some crafts, and have a little party. I love that my kids as young as they are, are learning to read and understand poetry. I've pulled out my Mother Goose and A Child's Garden of Verses, and I'm sure, I'll be learning quite a lot this month myself. This lesson is from the birds.

"Nest Eggs" by Robert Louis Stevenson

Birds all the sunny day

Flutter and quarrel

Here in the arbour-like

Tent of the laurel.

Here in the fork

The brown nest is seated;

Four little blue eggs

The mother keeps heated.

While we stand watching her,

Staring like gabies,

Safe in each egg are the

Bird's little babies.

Soon the frail eggs they shall

Chip, and upspringing,

Make all the April woods

Merry with singing.

Younger than we are,

O children, and frailer,

Soon in blue air they'll be,

Singer and sailor.

We, so much older,

Taller and stronger,

We shall look down on the

Birdies no longer.

They shall go flying

With musical speeches

High overhead in the

Tops of the beeches.

In spite of our wisdom

And sensible talking,

We on our feet must go

Plodding and walking.

He is Risen Indeed

2010-04-04T20:45:00.004-04:00

It was a beautiful day, in so many ways. Easter has always been my favorite holiday. When asked as a child which holiday was my favorite, I always said, "EASTER!" while other kids looked at me like I was crazy for not saying Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas, but there's always been something more for me at Easter.

I think part of it started when my mom always held to celebrating it in a simple, yet pure of heart way...she would find a Sunrise service, anywhere she could, and we would wake up as early as possible, quickly get dressed with one eye open, and then quietly and reverently celebrate our risen Lord. Then, usually we would come home, and search furiously for our Easter baskets, which were hidden in trickier spots each year. Then with our goodies in our bellies, and our hearts feeling full, we would enjoy a peaceful day together.

There weren't many days like that throughout my early years, where I knew what to expect. But I always knew what to expect with Easter. I could expect celebration and love. Rejoicing and sometimes even a few tears.

Today was a day like that. We didn't make it to a sunrise service, but we did sit on our bed as the sun rose, and read the Easter story. Then, we came in for a simple breakfast of fruit and banana bread before hurrying to find baskets filled with fun goodies and surprises. We played for a few minutes with our new things before getting in our spring time attire for the special day ahead of us. As we worshipped our risen Lord together, I remembered how beautiful a season we are in, where the old can become new, the lost can be found, and the blind, can now see. How amazing this grace is that the Father has lavished on us.

Good Things in March

2010-04-01T11:19:00.005-04:00

So, maybe I won't get to do these every month, but after totally missing Feb. I wanted to keep better track of March!

Mar. 1 - took the little ones to the museum...an accomplishment, I promise.

Mar. 2 - last minute dinner at my house with my dad, my sister and nephews

Mar. 3 - had fun playdate with blair and millie

Mar. 4 - on our way to the beach, my sister got pulled...not the good thing...but she didn't get a ticket...definitely A GOOD THING!

Mar. 5 - beach, Seafood Hut, and Calabash Creamery...need I say more?!?

Mar. 6 - a gorgeous day on the beach with family that i love...and a really good walk with my big sister

Mar. 7 - good trip home, and got to enjoy the oscars

Mar. 8 - got to share with some college kids the reason why we live in the neighborhood we live in

Mar. 9 - 70 degrees, had the first picnic of the year at the park with the kids! glorious!

Mar. 10 - My grandaddy's birthday...92 and still as cute as ever!

Mar. 11 - Asher fell asleep in the car running errands...at first I felt like it was a waste of time, but then I realized the gift of sitting in silence in the car for an hour, and it was a really good thing.

Mar. 12 - Pizza at Mellow Mushroom...so fun!

Mar. 13 - Hit one consignment sale, and was expecting to be disappointed since I waited til Sat. for 1/2 off sale...however was excited to find armfulls of good finds, and the kids were happy about fun "new" spring clothes!

Mar. 14 - had a fun Sunday lunch with friends after church.

Mar. 15 - Got to have an improptu coffee date with my stepmom for her birthday, and then had a great birthday dinner with the rest of our family. Also, was blessed by spending time with a beautiful girl from our neighborhood.

Mar. 16 - Randy and I had our laundry date night.

Mar. 17 - Enjoyed going for an early morning FREE chicken biscuit with River before school. Just us girls!

Mar. 18 - Went to the park afterschool and enjoyed the beautiful springtime weather

Mar. 19 - Went on our annual Women's Retreat!

Mar. 20 - Window shopped around Black Mtn, and got to go into Montreat for a bit. So good for my soul.

Mar. 21 - Loved being back home with my kids and hubby...and had fun dancing in the kitchen with them.

Mar. 22 - Felt good about getting back home and getting things back in order (a.k.a. lots of laundry and straightening was done!)

Mar. 23 - Had a great night hanging with two of my favorite people. Her and her. And laughed a lot.

Mar. 24 - Made it to storytime with the three little ones!

Mar. 25 - Had a great lesson at Bible Study.

Mar. 26 - Our first annual Hallelujah Party for the kids. Very fun to celebrate the true meaning of Easter with lots of little ones.

Mar. 27 - Stayed in bed and enjoyed our lazy Sat. morning. Then had a great day with kids ending with fun playtime at park at sunset.

Mar. 28 - Celebrated Easter early with DiDi and Pop Pop and had delicious brunch at Green Valley Grill.

Mar. 29 - Stayed home all day!

Mar. 30 - took my kids and my sister and nephews to Feeney's Frozen Yogurt for the first time...yum!

Mar. 31 - had a great morning with kids at storytime and park and then came home and took a nap! It was great.

My Favorite Places

2010-03-28T16:38:00.007-04:00

down a country mile in Eastern NC

Montreat, NC

Seattle skyline at sunset

Ocean Isle Beach, NC

my house at Christmastime

Charleston, SC

It's taken me a few days, but I wanted to link up with Gypsy Mama's "favorite place" party. These are some close to my heart and definite favorites of mine.

Piece Me Together

2010-03-26T14:29:00.009-04:00

When my husband and I were married 10 years ago, I remember how we received a ton of serving platters. And ten years ago, I could have cared less about serving platters. I remember thinking, "Seriously? Another one??" And struggling with coveting the fun accessories from Pier One and Pottery Barn that my other newly married friends were getting. I wanted candles, frames, and cutesy apartment decor...not platters.

Little did I know, that I was receiving some of the best gifts I could have asked for. I had no idea that I would absolutely LOVE hosting events, and even become an event planner, of all things. Now granted, that comes in last place after family, nannying, friends, and so on...but still...I never saw it coming. I had no idea then, that in 10 years, I would be thanking God for blessing me with so many things to entertain with.

Speaking of events, I decided on very short notice to host a Hallelujah Party for my children and a few of their good friends, so that the true meaning of Easter would be able to be celebrated. This tissue paper cross was our craft, to show that even though Christ died, the darkness and sadness of death all around Him, couldn't hold back God's love from raising Him from the dead. And furthermore from shining through us, each in our beautiful, colorful way, as we walk with Him in our lives. The 3 yr. olds probably didn't get all of that symbolism, but still, they make really pretty window decoration!

Even though it doesn't compare in weight, the picture of not getting what we want in life, or even what we pray and ask for, still very much applies. We cannot see with God's infinite wisdom, the tapestry He's weaving. Or the piece of pottery He's throwing, as one of my dear friends wrote about so eloquently. We don't know how the pieces will connect together, yet somehow, He uses our broken, torn, and otherwise "thrown out" bits of life to create a beautiful piece of work.

Take Heart

2010-03-23T12:42:00.005-04:00

So much of life, we're dealing with the unknown, the hardship, or the trials of life. I was able to sit by a stone this weekend. It wasn't the stone in front of Jesus' tomb. Or a stone placed on the altar of Isaac or in the Jordan River. But it was a sacred stone none the less. A stone that is in an ordinary picnic area, that most people don't even notice. But a stone placed as a memorial for my sweet Mamma. A stone with her sweet name on it. A stone spelling out the woman I knew and loved so well. Not a famous stone, but a beautiful one none the less.

There are a lot of things in the life that we face. Pain, suffering, disappointment, fear, and on and on. It always surprises us, though I'm not sure why. Jesus told us we would have trouble in this world. Then he said, "But take heart. For I have overcome the world." These were words he said not long before he would face more evil and suffering than we could ever fathom.

I don't think "take heart" means that the trouble will easily go away. Or that the trouble won't be painful and difficult to weather. Or maybe if we live a "good" enough life, than none at all. If you've lived at all, you've seen that it most certainly is. But we do know that our friend, our Creator, our God, has overcome the world. That in the midst of our trial, though our bodies face pain, though our minds are tormented at times, though our strife seems to persist to no end, our hope is not in a perfect world. Our hope is in a God who has overcome the world.

When I have the chance to remember that, it helps me to see that even though the days can be long at times, and the trials unending, it really is for only a brief moment. We really will be rescued from this world and sat with our Savior at the right hand of God Almighty.

Just a Moment

2010-03-19T14:41:00.005-04:00

In the moments of the days, there are not many moments to sit. To think. To be quiet. To dive into the Word of God or take time to reflect. As the little ones start to wake from their naps, there is just a moment. This weekend, I'm excited to be able to many of those moments as I join other women from our church at our annual women's retreat. Each year is different, and each theme is it's own. However, what is consistent is that it's time. Time to be with my sisters in Christ. Time to be with my God. I'm so thankful for brief times away, to be refreshed with my Father's love, held in His embrace, and grateful to be His child.

A Beautiful Mess

2010-03-15T16:48:00.009-04:00

I could sum up my son in this little picture. I could actually write an entire essay on how these four items could describe his personality. I won't...but I could.

I was cleaning up the other day, and when I came to this "mess" to pick up, I couldn't help stop. It was as if he decided to place all of his favorite things together in just the right position. I'm sure he only left it for a moment to go look for "The King" to add to the mix! In 6 months, these things will be old news, and I'll be cleaning up a Bat Mobile or something else that has caught his undying love.

You never know who your children will be, or what their favorite things will be. However, I do know that I could not have asked for a more precious son to love. And, no, I'm not biased at all.

Flora's Crowning Beauty

2010-03-14T13:01:00.006-04:00

Our home is a little old cottage. There's a lot about our house that we have changed, and a lot that we have kept. But the thing that sold me on our sweet bungalow, was this mantle. I knew from the moment I walked in the very first time, that even if I changed everything else in the house, this would always be my favorite spot in the house. It is the very first thing you see when you walk through the door, like a familiar smile welcoming you in.

From season to season, this mantle changes very little. Maybe some different foliage, or an additional candle every now and then, but for the most part, she stays set. In fall, she warms us with her candlelit glow, and in the spring she welcomes us with new buds starting to bloom.

I've always wondered about what our house's name was. In the past I've toyed around with Ethel, or Ella, or Myrtle...I knew it needed to be a name that sounded like a little old lady who had beauty beyond her years, and wisdom from her age. However, I never settled on anything. That is, until just the other day.

I happened to meet a man who grew up right across the street from my house. He told me all about the sweet lady who lived here, raised her children here, and even held a neighborhood Bible study for all the neighborhood children (fitting, don't you think?). Where do you suppose she had her Bible study? Yes, just to the right of that very mantle. In that moment, I realized that "Flora's" crowning beauty would always be that very spot.

Now go and get all warm and cozy visiting Emily's glimpses of home tour. It's a sure fire way to make you fall in love with home all over again.

Always Watching

2010-03-11T12:18:00.006-05:00

She twirled and her beautiful pink skirt made a floating cloud-like circle around her. She ran. She leaped. She giggled. She looked toward him, and giggled. Then she twirled again...and again...and again. She desperately wanted him to watch, though she never would have admitted it.

How could a little boy of six years be interested in twirling skirts or pretty girls? He would have rather wrestled her or gone and climbed a tree in the yard. Still he watched, but only for a second. He would glance her way, but then quickly look away. He would watch the cars speeding past, but then he would look back again, just to watch for a second...but hopefully without her knowing. I enjoyed how remiss he was trying to be, however, as I could tell he really just wanted to watch her twirl. It was as if he was entranced by how happy she was just to twirl, and run, and leap, and giggle.

It was cute as I stood there, an unexpected spy, as these two played their game. It reminded me of how often I try to spin in circles for the attention of others. How much I try to gain the focus of my husband, or my friends, or my family, or even my kids. I will spin and spin, with the most beautiful of tactics and strategies, to make sure that I'm the most loved and accepted by everyone...all the time. And yet, it grows so tiring. And even more convicting, I've seen how it's not really what God has asked me to do. I could actually rename my "efforts to please" as "worry", "selfishness", "anxiety", "busyness", "striving"....even, are you ready..."sin".

God doesn't want my focus to be on gaining the attention or love of others. He simply wants me to be, and to let Him live through me. To allow Him to love me, and then allow His love to flow out to others.

I remember being so thankful when I learned (and am still having to learn) how accepted and lovely I always am to God. That He is always waiting to watch me twirl. That he loves to just sit and wait for me to spin or sit...giggle or cry. He is always watching, and I never have to convince Him to pay attention to me. He already is.

Shifting Sand

2010-03-09T08:05:00.010-05:00

You would think, just by looking at a simple sand castle, that it would be an easy accomplishment. Something fun to do to pass the time spent on the shore. For some that might be true. For others, not so much.

My older sister had kids before me, and her first was a premie. He just barely made it, and had to fight with everything he had as a little two pounder to make it. He learned early that if you're going to make it in this life, you have to be a fighter, and that doesn't come easy.

Almost four years ago, when we lost my sister's husband, my sweet nephew of only 8 at the time, lost not only his daddy...he lost his best friend, his biggest fan, his closest confidant, his hero, his life. Much of their days together were spent on the beach. Exploring the rugged outer banks, learning to surf, playing in the water, building sand castles with extreme attention to detail.

We love to take them back down to the beach whenever we can, and this past weekend happened to be one of those times. It's funny, when we're getting ready to go down to the beach, all we hear from this particular nephew is...

"I don't want to go. How long are we going to be down there? I'll get all sandy, and it's gonna be cold."

fight fight fight....argue argue argue.

After he gets all that out of his system, he quietly shuffles his big almost man sized feet down the steps and over to the shore.

I think just getting to the sand is the hardest part.

Then for the next hour, or two, or three, he sits immersed in the sand, using whatever "tools" he can find to craft a most beautiful creation. One with great detail and skill...one that his father would be proud of. And once again, I marvel at how this boy of only 12 years, is choosing to fight to live life. How he has to choose to be a part of the rest of our lives, even just to build a sand castle that won't be there tomorrow.

"Reality" TV

2010-03-08T09:14:00.003-05:00

Last night, we arrived back home after a fabulous weekend at the beach, to a house with needs, a full week ahead of us, and tired bodies from all fun. However, rather than jumping in with two feet to all the chores beckoning my attention, I got the kids in bed, and then plopped down on the couch to watch the Oscars.

Yes, I absolutely love to see all the amazing dresses, but what I really love is seeing them just be themselves. Seeing them get nervous when they have to go up on that big stage. Watching as they get choked up as they receive the affirmation of another. Getting to see that behind the scenes artist whose name I've never heard before, but is quite definitely brilliant beyond measure. Celebrating with the star who did what "was unpopular to do what was right".

Most of the time we see them on the cover of tabloids in the checkout line at the grocery store, or in the news having their name smeared for something they've done wrong, or an action everyone has to know about. For me, though, I'd rather watch them as they are. I'd much rather see them be mothers, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, sons, friends, and neighbors...to see them simply as people.

The Birthday Girl

2010-03-01T15:18:00.005-05:00

Yesterday my little girl became a girl. I know it sounds ridiculous, but there's a BIG difference between a little girl and a girl. Five just seems so much younger than six!! Or is it just me!? Just like there's a big difference from a newborn to an older baby...or a big baby to a toddler...or a toddler to a little girl (or boy). And I feel like she'll be a preteen tomorrow. I can't shop for her at all in the little kids section...I used to be able to squeeze her into a 4T/5T, but not anymore.

We had a great weekend celebrating. Had a frilly, girly sleepover with just a few friends, and then woke up and went roller skating...or roller shuffling is more like what it was. Then we enjoyed being with family the next part of the weekend, thoroughly enjoying ourselves with a tea party at the O'Henry! But I think my favorite part of the weekend was playing paper dolls with her. It's reassuring that she still wants me to play with her...at least for today! Truly a gift!

Finding our Being

2010-02-22T08:49:00.006-05:00

Do you ever feel like your life is just happening, and you are going through it, but you somehow can't seem to get a grasp around it? That's kind of how I've been feeling lately. I really long to sit and read more, or post more, or just be still, but it seems like most of my "free" moments get sucked into cleaning or organizing or playing or just trying to have a conversation with a friend for even just a moment.

Last night I was challenged by this verse:

"In him, we live, move, and have our being." (Acts 17:28)

Even though I've known Christ for many years, most times, I don't feel like I'm living, moving, and having my being in Christ. I know I truly am in Him, but most of the time, I'm just "living, moving, and being". So, where in the craziness of the day, month, year, LIFE, do I find my way to have regular life while somehow I'm resting in Him? Even sitting down to post about this, I am confronted with feeling guilty for taking a moment to ponder rather than doing something else more "pressing".

Sometimes it seems impossible to find this life "in Christ", and yet, I know that this is where I find true rest, peace, and joy. All the things that we would say we want our life to be, and yet, we struggle so to have them. I think the groping to find Him in the midst of pain, hardship, trial, and just mundane life, is just what He wants us to do. A sacrifice of praise isn't a "sacrifice" if it comes out without pain or struggle. It's pretty easy to trust Him or praise Him when everything is going well, or when we feel really close to Him. Or when life is just working out the way we hoped it had. But, when we choose to push past the hardships of life, and choose to have life "in Him" is where we find rest for our souls.

The verses right before this one in Acts says,

"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us." (Acts 17:24-27)

I hope that you will join me today, and choose to live, move, and have your being, in Him. Whatever it is your facing; maybe it's fear about the future, or regretting the past, or even day to day anxieties that can feel overwhelming, but whatever it is, let's move past being in us, and choose to know Christ in the midst of our lives. I want to be able to know Him in my living, moving, and having my being. And He truly "is not far from each one of us."

Nothing Much to Do

2010-02-13T16:18:00.003-05:00

Daddy's at work. Saturday afternoon...sitting on the couch with the laptop and kids only means one thing...

A Rare Gift, Indeed

2010-02-05T22:22:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I look at her and wonder how she got so cute. She's full of so many ideas and desires...all bursting at once. She can get attached to the silliest of objects in seconds, and have it be her "baby" or "best friend", and then have to undergo serious detachment sessions. Last weekend, it was an icicle she found on our walk. Tonight it was the hot water bottle. I mean, SERIOUSLY? As rational as I am, I find it VERY hard to be too sympathetic. And I'm an extremely sensitive person.

I swear she belongs on a stage. But she'd be too scared to go out there and have everyone watch her. She truly is one of a kind. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good Things in January

2010-02-01T09:41:00.007-05:00

Back at the beginning of this month, I asked my friend Kari, if she would feel totally copied if I also started doing a "good things" post at the end of each month. She said that she herself had gotten the idea from another friend, and that she would love to have more people link up to hers. Of course, being the event planner that I am, I thought "good things party" immediately. Well, no streamers or balloons, but if you can track your memory back through this past month, go link up over at Kari's, and join in our fun.

Jan. 1 - Visit to PA and lots of New Years fun with family

Jan. 2 - Great Pop Pop's 90th birthday party and the time to celebrate such an amazing man!

Jan. 3 - A very uneventful and relaxing trip home to NC complete with stops at Cracker Barrel and Red Lobster all thanks to traveling with DiDi and Pop Pop

Jan. 4 - Fun time shopping with my birthday gift cards!

Jan. 5 - Got to hang out with my big sister at Friendly Center...very rare indeed!

Jan. 6 - My birthday...fun surprises from family and then out for dessert with sweet friends.

Jan. 7 - Got to spend some alone time at Barnes and Noble and picked out some classics I've been wanting to add to our library.

Jan. 8 - My parents took my big sis and I to Village Tavern for lunch and gave us big fancy presents from Williams-Sonoma and Pampered Chef...needless to say, we felt very pampered. And then Randy and I went out dancing to beach music with two other couples and laughed so hard my sides hurt.

Jan. 9 - Got such a special present from this friend that it made me cry. And it was my sister's birthday...went and celebrated over at her house with yummy dinner and delicious cake for dessert.

Jan. 10 - went to church for our Women's Fellowship and heard an amazing lesson taught on Abigail by author Sally Breedlove. What a treat!

Jan. 11 - Had dinner with some new friends from the neighborhood and was inspired by their handmade chicken coup and baby chicks!

Jan. 12 -Made it to aerobics! Definitely something to celebrate! ;)

Jan. 13 - Got to storytime with Asher, Maddie, and Taylor...only 20 min. late. Better late than never! Thankfully our storytime is complete with several books, letter of the day, song to go with it, movie, and craft, so we only missed the first few books. And yes it is the best storytime in town!

Jan. 14 - taught some kids about Jesus and really saw them start to get it!

Jan. 15 - Randy went out of town on a guys retreat so the kids and I went to Chick-Fil-A with Diane and her kids (her hubs was out of town, too, so we did it up right!) Then, I vegged out on the couch and watched Miss Congeniality after I got the kids to bed.

Jan. 16 - had a great time in Greenville with old friends! And got to take my kids on a 4-wheeler for the first time thanks to "Aunt Heather"!

Jan. 17 - went to the Tipsy Teapot for brunch with the Barclays, reconnected with some family that I hadn't seen in 10 years, and went to the Flowers for 24 premier! Busy but fun day!

Jan. 18 - Watched the 2nd half of the 24 premier.

Jan. 19 - My sweet friend Kayli dropped by and helped me rearrange my house. Also had my Arbonne party and racked up on some goodies.

Jan. 20 - The three little ones and I ventured over to Blair's house for lunch and playtime at the park...it was a gorgeous day in the middle of all those rainy days, so it was perfect!

Jan. 21 - made a new favorite recipe for dinner swap.

Jan. 22 - set a new record for how many times I got to aerobics in a week...3 times!! I know I'm pitiful, but it really is an accomplishment!

Jan. 23 - went to the Yancey House with a client and loved designing a wedding and reception; swung on a tire swing, and had a blast over at the Hoots house.

Jan. 24 - Got to see one of my old "kids" get his Eagle Scout award and then River and I got to hang out with some of our best friends.

Jan. 25 - Hung out with a new friend at Tate St. Coffee House which brought back tons of memories from college...and found out about a new deal they're doing over there...you buy one of their travel "green" mugs, and then get it filled for .70 Monday-Friday from 5-7. Cheapest cup of coffee in town!

Jan. 26 - Had coffee and caught up on life with my sweet friend Emily.

Jan. 27 - Made it to storytime with Asher, Maddie, and Taylor...only 10 min. late!! Getting better!

Jan. 28 - Had a great time at Bible Study and was very excited about the snow coming.

Jan. 29 - Kids got the cutest haircuts ever and had a fun family date to Five Guys afterwards. Also had our friend Danny stay for dinner and all cheered as the snow started to fall.

Jan. 30 - Tried to go sledding in our homemade sled, but really just had fun together in the snow/freezing rain/sleet...then got warmed up at the Browns with hot chocolate and cookies!

Jan. 31 - went SLEDDING for real!!! My kids are daredevils!!

I know that I'm not really supposed to go into Feb. just yet, but remember just for a moment what happened on this day in Greensboro 50 years ago, and say a quiet thank you for all that God has done to restore our broken country since then. There's still much to be done, but I'm so thankful for the 4 brave men who changed our city forever.

An Unexpected Sit

2010-01-25T14:11:00.010-05:00

I took the three little ones to the Children's Museum today. I expected the hustle and bustle of children. And I expected some amount of stress seeing as I would be handling a 5 month old, a 2 1/2 yr. old, and then my 3 year old. But they are all such sweet children that I really enjoy going places with them. We enjoyed our usual places in the museum...the super market, the farm house, the tot-spot, the cafe...but then as we were leaving, we saw something I hadn't expected to see.

There in the middle of the lobby was a child sized version of the Woolworth's sit in counter from 1960. Everything was exactly the same as the original. The stools, the menus, the coffee and doughnuts. And even just sitting here typing, the tears come streaming down. I tried really hard not to loose it in the museum, especially because there were other kids and moms all around me, and for me to just start weeping would seem pretty inappropriate. But I could barely hold it together. Asher and Maddie just climbed up to the stools. They spun around and "fixed" their coffee. They pretended to eat and drink...and be merry. They didn't have to ask to sit down. They didn't have to wait to be served. They weren't denied the freedom to simply be. They felt totally free and accepted, with no questions asked. Then some other children came up to play at the counter with them. Three African American boys. They all played together at the counter and then, I really could barely hold it together.

It blows me away that only 50 years ago not everyone had that privilege. That African Americans were not allowed to SIT at certain lunch counters and eat doughnuts and drink coffee. It truly takes all words away from me, and leaves me with tears in my eyes and shaking my head. That people, just like me, only with a little darker skin, would be treated with such disdain and disrespect. Only 50 years ago.

As I stared at these boy's pictures, I felt such valor, strength, and dignity. A courage mustered up that I have never had to muster. A strength that I have never had to face. And a foe that I have never had to encounter the way that they did. Only 50 years ago.

Sometimes it feels like it's been hundreds of years since things like segregation were even an issue. But then, I remember. And I am thankful for men like these, who "with their very bodies, obstructed the wheels of injustice."

I Wish I Were...

2010-01-22T22:52:00.002-05:00

No matter how you spin it, the thoughts "I wish I were..." seem to creep in everywhere you turn. Tonight I went to a high school homecoming game, and even though I'm an old has-been to young teenage eyes, I still have the same insecurities and longings.

As the speaker announced the homecoming court, I found myself thinking how pretty the girls were, and how nervous I would be walking onto a basketball court in 3 inch heels, praying that I wouldn't slip.

It came time for the new homecoming queen to be announced, but before she was crowned, the list of credentials was read. I can't even remember what all the speaker read to us, but I can tell you that the list went on and on and on. From sports, to academic achievement, to international travel, to scholarships, to merrit awards, to volunteering, and committees, this club and that club, and on and on and on. I thought it was sad in a way, that this young beautiful girl, was feeling judged, and today applauded for all of her striving and effort. However, what about the days when she has messy hair and stretch marks and can't even find her cute jeans that fit her because her laundry has piled up so high that she can't even get to the laundry room. What about when she is lying in bed, not wanting to move because she feels so alone and afraid. What about when she can't find a job, despite all of her good experience and pretty face. What then? Who would applaud that?

I found myself longing for her to know how truly valued she is. Not for what she has done, and not for what she will do, but simply for who she is. I remembered wishing that I had been homecoming queen and that I had the legs of the girl who was. But instead, I think now that I wish I could have been comfortable just being me. Not because of what I looked like or had accomplished, but simply because I was chosen by an all powerful, and all knowing God. Who reached down and said, "I pick you because I love you. I choose you because you're you." How much better is the love that He lavishes on us, than all the praise of men.

Easy Wind and Downy Flake

2010-01-15T08:39:00.005-05:00

This past week, the preschoolers and I have been talking a lot about snow. We've read books about the cold, and sang songs about the snow. One of the things we've read is Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening. And, I know you think I'm crazy, but they're beginning to get this poem. The pictures help, of course. And my age appropriate questions. But there's something about it that brings tears to my eyes. I love the picture of this man enjoying the silence and the stillness. Rather than me, who runs at the very thought of the silence...not to mention the stillness. He is able to stop in the midst of the cold and snow, just to enjoy the "darkest evening of the year". Lord, would you make me more like him?

Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening

by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village though;

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer

To stop without a farmhouse near

Between the woods and frozen lake

The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake

To ask if there is some mistake.

The only other sound’s the sweep

Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

But I have promises to keep,

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

Teinc You

2010-01-11T15:26:00.008-05:00

Some days it's very tiring to have a girl. The emotions, the drama, the rifts. Then, there's the constant busyness of them making their life be what they want it to be all the time, and if it's not exactly what they want, they are either heart broken or furious. And, no, I'm not talking about myself.

But then there are other days. Days where the thoughtfulness of a 5 year old can amaze and astound you.

Saturday, was a busy morning. We had a party at our house for my daughter's dance class, with about 10 little girls running around, and lots of squealing and laughing. I went against my better judgement and chose to get glitter for our craft, because I knew how much all the girls would love it. And boy, they did. The clean up time however, was not as much fun.

When I finished cleaning up everything, I went in and read for a while with my little girl, who is really starting to get into chapter books. I was so tired after we finished reading, that I declined the offer to play, and confessed that I simply had to rest my eyes for just a minute.

When I came to, probably an hour later, she was right beside me rubbing my head. Her little voice had excitement in it, but whispered a little,

"Surprise. I thought you might be thirsty." She had gotten the juice out and poured me a glass of orange juice, but watered it down just a tad, the way I like, then topped it with an ice cube.

There was a little present, wrapped in Christmas paper, flowers taken from my birthday arrangement and put into a small vase, a banana (she said in case I was hungry), and a little scrapbook of her Daddy and I, from years back.

Let me just say, this has never happened before, and I doubt that it will happen very many times in my life. At least not while she's still under my roof.

Even though all of that was special, this was the best part...

I couldn't have asked for a sweeter daughter.

Giver of Gifts

2010-01-06T09:37:00.011-05:00

*warning...lots of pictures ahead...

Gifts are so fun. I love gifts. I love giving gifts, and I love receiving them. It's safe to say that gifts are one of my love languages. So, I find it pretty amusing that my birthday is the same day that is noted on our calendars as the day we celebrate the gifts that were given to Jesus by the magi. Now, obviously, it was not on Jan. 6 however many years ago. But, it still feels representative somehow, even if just in my heart. It's as if, it's a time to think back upon the gifts given...to Christ, to us, to the world. That today is a day of celebration...not just for me, but that Jesus was celebrated with gifts, just as He is such a lavish giver of gifts.

I haven't really done a Christmas post, even though I have thought about it many times. We just had so much traveling going on that I haven't gotten to it. But this morning, as I was woken by my sweet family, with flowers and coffee, and then treated to my favorite breakfast, I once again thought about how blessed I really am. God has given me such good gifts. He truly is the giver of good gifts, and I know that these precious ones in my life are more than I ever could have asked for. Here's a little snapshot into our Christmas, and the gifts that I have to be thankful for...

a warm and cozy home

beautiful children to celebrate Christ (and Christmas) with

the gift of new life

new friends

the blessing of provision to be able to surprise our children with their first bikes!

the gift of having a husband who knows me well!

fun times with family!

I happened to be reading Romans 5:15-17 last night...

"But the gift is not like the sin. For if the many died by the sin of one man (Adam), how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: the judgement followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many sins and brought justification. For if by the sin of one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through one man, Jesus Christ.

The message might make it a little bit more clear...

"Yet the rescuing gift is not exactly parallel to the death-dealing sin. If one man's sin put crowds of people at the dead-end abyss of separation from God, just think what God's gift poured through one man, Jesus Christ, will do! There's no comparison between that death-dealing sin and this generous, life-giving gift. The verdict on that one sin was the death sentence; the verdict on the many sins that followed was this wonderful life sentence. If death got the upper hand through one man's wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?"

As much as I treasure the gifts that God has given me through my family and friends, there couldn't be a greater gift than that which God gave through His Son. Life for death. Righteousness for condemnation. All for our taking, on this gift of a day. I hope that you are able to receive the gift of grace that brings full life to you this day and always.

Enjoying the Newness

2010-01-01T22:57:00.005-05:00

Today is a new day. A new year. Sometimes newness is difficult to embrace. The changing of a job. The move to a new place. Knowing how to care for a brand new baby. Even small ways that life brings about those subtle changes that we don't always expect, but still have to weather. However, I've never known a new year that I wasn't ready to embrace. Sure I might still write "2009"...or forget that it's already January, but it's not like a resistance to change.

There is something exciting and welcoming about a new year. That we are turning over a new leaf. Or starting from scratch. A time for beginning again. Anew.

"Also at your times of rejoicing—your appointed feasts and New Moon festivals—you are to sound the trumpets over your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, and they will be a memorial for you before your God. I am the LORD your God."

In the Word, when the Lord talks about the festivals of celebration, I love how there is always a calling to Himself. The festivals were not to just celebrate for the sake of the "season". But to call us to Himself. Again. Anew. To bring our offering of praise and thanksgiving to Him as a memorial or covenant between us and Him.

In this new year, I hope to do that a little bit more than I have in years past. To not necessarily have new "resolutions", but rather, to take the time during these times of rejoicing, to remember and respond to Him. The Lord your God. He is.

While Visions of Sugar Plums Danced

2009-12-18T05:59:00.007-05:00

When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina. I began taking lessons when I was 3, and didn't stop until I graduated. Then I started again. Now, it's not like I'm that girl who can do all those amazing things and everyone stops and gasps and stares. I just love it. It's one of those parts of me that will never go away, no matter how old I am, or how long it's been since my last class or performance.

One thing that was really fun to be a part of when I was growing up was the Nutcracker that our company always put on every other year. I had little parts here and there, over the years...nothing show stopping, but still I was part of the show. I knew the scenes and all the various parts. I could hum all the music and nothing pulled me away from sneaking a backstage peak at the pas du deux of the Sugar Plum Fairy and her prince.

This is the part where I tell you how mad I am that I didn't have a camera. And how I would have the perfect shot if I had. Her eyes were about to pop they were so big. And her little lips were completely still.

Last night, I was able to take my little girl, along with several of the girls who dance in our neighborhood dance program, to see the Nutcracker Ballet for the first time. Y'all...she was on the edge of her seat the entire time. Well, on the edge of my lap to be exact. She would lean her head to the side ever so slightly, as to not take her big brown eyes off the stage for a second, and hold her program up in front of her face to whisper back questions to me. These were some of the things I heard over the two hour span,

"Is he going to change with magic, now?" "What are the mice doing?" "Who WINS this fight?" "Does the Nutcracker get hurt?" "Are they going to a new place now?" "Mommy, I can do that!" "When do they start talking?" "That's really hard to hold their mouths closed that long!" "That's really hard on those 'tilts'." "I bet those costumes are scratchy!" "I'll never get bored of this!" And on and on.

It was such a precious time. Truly magical for her little heart, and therefore, for mine as well. We were each so blessed to be able to see this production. Some to have a dream set before them. Others just to experience a beautiful show. But for me, to share something so dear to my heart with someone I love so much...my little mini-me. She was awed and inspired...just as I was, those many years ago.

Thank you, kind sir, for treating us all to such a special gift. It is one that will be remembered for a very long time.

The Wondrous Gift

2009-12-12T23:19:00.004-05:00

This advent time for me is always such a gift, though one that can easily pass by me in a rush, without notice, if I'm not careful. More than any other season, I believe that we have opportunities to hear about His coming. However, it definitely doesn't mean that it's easier to listen. With all our concerts, performances, events, music, parties, and not to mention shopping, we barely have time to send out cards, much less take time to actually listen for a silent gift that was given over 2,000 years ago.

The Christ child came in such a way that didn't force anyone to hear, and yet invited all to be a part. He entered into our small and finite world with such vulnerability. Needy, weak, and poor He arrived on a dark night, to a young couple who had no idea how to be parents. And yet, even though more than ever we are needy, weak, and poor, we seldom admit to needing Him. We rush about doing our things, and figuring out our problems, and sometimes stopping to offer a "please do this" prayer. I'm so quick to figure life out myself, and get my needs met however I can, as quickly as possible.

The other day as I was driving, I heard this verse of "O Little Town of Bethlehem"...

"How silently, How silently, the wondrous gift is given.

So God imparts to human hearts, the blessings of His heaven.

No hear may hear His coming, but in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive Him still, the dear Christ enters in."

Lord, may I be a meek soul. May I stop and take the time to have you enter in. Not just during the Christmas Eve service. Not just when I'm irritated at the Christmas traffic. But, may I know how much I need you this Christmas, and always.

Never Saw It Coming

2009-12-07T14:08:00.007-05:00

I know I haven't been around here very much lately. I have a great excuse, and a great new website to prove it...thanks to my creative and techno savy hubby. We still do this, and you still have time to get some of these if you need them by Christmas, but over the last several months, I have been given the opportunity to truly celebrate everyday life. With real people. In real settings.

This past weekend was one of them. I loved every minute of planning, brainstorming, and carrying out what needed to happen for this sweet couple to have their perfect wedding. After a very busy weekend of fittings, and calls, and placing people, and giving instructions, and pointing, and bustling, and smiling, and problem solving, and chatting, and hugging, and buying huge golf umbrellas (just in case), and crying (because I always cry at weddings...especially at the first dance) and laughing, and being a little sassy to the people who needed some correcting, and dancing with my itinerary, and directing, and being bossy, and running from here to there, and putting out fires...literally....I felt as if I was doing something I was made to do.

I've felt that a million times as a mother. But it's different feeling that way about a career. And I would have never guessed that it would be this. I never even saw it coming. That's the funny thing about God. He can give you your dream job, without you even knowing that it's your dream job. And show you what you're naturally gifted to do, and then let you do it. All this to say, I'm excited to announce Events by Design.

Trim Up the Tree

2009-12-02T20:54:00.003-05:00

We got our Christmas tree last Saturday. This year my hubs really wanted to get out the trains. So after designing a double decker oval track, our tree went up in the middle of it. We decorated it last night, and tonight before bed, my daughter said,

"Let's sing Christmas carols around the Christmas tree. But we have to stand right around it, and we have to hold hands."

I don't know where she gets it from.

A Light Has Dawned

2009-11-30T09:32:00.005-05:00

She was totally resistant this morning to get out of the car. She did it, but with the saddest, longest face I've ever seen. I think it was probably the long break...and the fact that we had a fun visitor coming this morning. Something about her standing there with her long face, backpack hanging down like a ton of bricks in her hand, and brush in the other, still refusing to brush her hair, made me ask God for blessing for her. As I drove off, I just couldn't help but beg God for blessing of hope, joy, and encouragement for her. She might not know that it was God blessing her...it may come in the form of a hug from a friend, or a welcome from a teacher, or a smile from a classmate, but 'something, God...would you give her something of joy this morning', is what my prayer became. It reminded me of this passage,

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy...You have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor." Isa. 9:2-3

I'm so thankful that when God gave Isaiah this prophesy about Christ, that it was a message of encouragement. That the reason why He was willing to give up His precious Son, was so that we could live with joy. That we could have our yoke shattered and our burden lifted.

My little longing for her, made me think about how great His longing for us must have been. How completely shadowed our lives are without Christ, and how God must have just yearned so greatly for us to live in light. So greatly, in fact, that He had to bless us. He had to send His Son, because He could no longer stand us to live in darkness. He could no longer endure us "living in the land of the shadow of death". And thus, "unto us a Son is given." (Isa. 9:6) So often in church, we start at that part, but the reason why He had to come, is told in those verses just before. So that His people could be rescued from that "bar across their shoulders. From the rod of their oppressor."

Even though my five year old little girl doesn't realize that's what He can do for her right now, my prayer is that one day, she will see. And that in the mean time, I can be a living example of living in "great light". What other way is there for us to live? We are those whom He has given that dawning of light! We are those whom He came to increase our joy. When I live in a place of fear, defeat, and worry, I only shadow the greatest light that has ever been given. It made me remember this post from a dear friend, written almost a year ago.

I'm excited to enter into this Christmas season with great joy, and once again remember the great light that was given for us.

A Morning Gift

2009-11-17T10:40:00.005-05:00

The Lord is so near to those who call on Him. He caught me off guard as I was whisking around the kitchen and house, cleaning this, picking up that. And by His sweet Spirit, my attention was caught by a worship song that was playing.

I love that even a morning scratchy voice barely squeaking out the notes is still a "joyful noise in His ear."

I love that I can sit in front of my computer with my eyes closed and my hands held high in the presence of my God and King, and know that I'm worshiping before His throne.

How great is our God?! How awesome is His love towards us that WE can be called children of God.

In taking a minute to praise my true Father, I come into the very presence that I've been longing to meet with, even though I look everywhere else first. Lord, would you make my heart seek you first. Would you turn my eyes up to You, before things here. What do I have here??? On this earth??? Why do I look so intently here?? When You are life, you are truth. You are the Lover of my soul, and I am your Beloved.

A couple of years back, I got to go to an in house Derek Webb concert. He had just written the "She Must and Shall Go Free" album, and one of my favorite songs that he spoke about and played was Beloved. Beloved he shared was written for the "church" in America today. We as believers...who make up the Body of Christ here. So often, I forget how dangerous a place we as Christ's beloved are in. I am influenced by this need or that worry, or my ever changing schedule, and so distracted by everything going on around me. I easily forget He is everything. That...

"There is nothing more. No more blessings and no more rewards. Than the treasure of my Body and Blood. Given freely to all daughters and sons."

Beloved

by Derek Webb

beloved these are dangerous times

because you are weightless like a leaf from the vine

and the wind has blown you all over town

because there is nothing holding you to the ground

so now you would rather be

a slave again than free from the law

(chorus)

beloved listen to me

don’t believe all that you see

and don’t you ever let anyone tell you

that there’s anything that you need

but me

beloved these are perilous days

when your culture is so set in it’s ways

that you will listen to salesmen and thieves

preaching other than the truth you’ve received

because they are telling lies

for they cannot circumcise your hearts

(chorus)

beloved there is nothing more

no more blessings and no more rewards

than the treasure of my body and blood

given freely to all daughters and sons

Every Good Boy Does Fine???

2009-11-14T21:24:00.006-05:00

I played piano when I was little. For 1o + years. A few months ago, we were asked by some friends to house their piano until they had a little more room for it. My husband (who never had a lesson in his life but plays like he's one of those people who plays in a restaurant to create the perfect background music) has been wanting one for so long, so of course the answer immediately was yes! I took lessons faithfully from the time I was 5 until I was about 16. I went to competitions, and camps...you know the whole nine yards. So guess what I can play? One part of the last song that I was learning when I stopped playing. And because I was gifted at learning by ear, I always learned by ear. I hardly used sight reading at all, and I was terrible at it. So, I can't even pick up a piece of music and play.

Today, I went to sit down and read for a bit, and I really love reading hymns. As I was flipping through, I had a grand idea. I thought, you know, I should go sit down and play one of these! Well, then, I found "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" and thought, "Yea! I'll work on some Christmas carols, so that by the time Christmas is here, we can all sit around the piano, and sing like in Little Women!" Seriously, that's what I thought.

So I sit down and start to figure out the cords...and it's like I was reading Latin. I had to literally sit there and say, "Ummm....F...A..... C.... E. So that's.....ummmm......D!!" It took me 45 min. just to figure out the right hand. And that wasn't even going at the right tempo. My daughter kept trying to sing along, and she would have to stop because I couldn't keep up!! It was hilarious. But, hopefully, by Christmas we'll have at least one carol learned.

Just for the record, when your mother says, "You shouldn't stop taking. You'll be sorry when you're older," you should listen. Hello, Mother? It's "older" and I'm sorry!!!

The Threes

2009-11-08T18:22:00.004-05:00

You know the old saying, "Things come in threes?" Well, I don't know about that, but this one is totally three.

Today, he played with cars, sticks, and his new football. He made a basketball crush a pretty Polly, and then laughed about it. He threw a fit when I told him that he couldn't have a large tootsie roll right before he ate his birthday cake. And he chased his sister around with his doggies saying, "Ruff Ruff" even when she repeatedly told him not to.

But he still snuggled with me when he woke up from his nap. And he smelled his same sweet smell that he always smells like when he first wakes up from a deep sleep. I can't put my finger on what it is. It's just a sleepy smell. All warm and snuggly. Melt-right-into-me-snuggly.

I love him so much. And he's such a treasure. I'm so thankful that I get to have him for my little boy.

Searching for Colors

2009-11-03T07:58:00.011-05:00

This beauty is in my backyard. I'm always blown away by the colors of the fall. How in the world, can the leaves become so bright and beautiful right before they die? Yesterday, my son and I went exploring in the yard to find leaves for a project he's doing at preschool. We of course, found many more than we needed, just because of how breathtaking they are. We couldn't resist "picking" more and more. However, what I felt myself begin to look for were green ones. We had scads of red, orange, and yellow...but we needed a few greens to balance the bright colors out. As you are well aware, there are not many greens. So, when we would see one, we would say with excitement, "There's a green one!" As we were in the midst of hunting, something about looking for the green ones stood out to me.

It's as if the Lord was saying...

"Why are you looking for what's been here all along? They've been right here under your nose, but it's not been until now, that you can't find them, that you count them as valuable".

I don't know why it stood out to me. Maybe because I spend my life searching for "more" of what I've already been given in full. Or because I just try to get my hands on what seems out of my reach, only to find, it's been there all along. Either way, it was a message of hope. A message of fulfillment. A message of sufficiency.

A sweet reminder, that even though sometimes I search for things I don't have, that my Father is already there, and has always been there, even when I can't see. A gift to unwrap indeed.

Halloween Recap

2009-11-02T09:21:00.009-05:00

We had so much fun this year...as every year, but as my kids get older, we get to "do" more with them. First we started by having our annual "Stephens Fest" with my sister and her boys. We (well, she) made cupcakes and the kids decorated them with fun halloween sprinkles. We ate pumpkin seeds, carved pumpkins, and then got ready for trick or treating.

Uncle Randy delivered JC's pumpkin dream with this awesome Batman emblem

As much as I wanted our family to all dress alike in cowboy attire, the kids just wouldn't bite on that idea. River was all about being a kitten, and she wanted me to be the Mama Cat.

Asher went back and forth between a cowboy, a knight, and spiderman, and then the day of, decided on a fireman. I mean, who doesn't want to be a hero?

The kids were cute all dressed up together.

Batman, The Fireman, and Little Kitten

with the big "brother cousins"

After trick or treating, we went to a free carnival with pony rides, jumpy things, and lots of fun times. We met with up with our friends, but after a quick hello really didn't see anyone! All the kids were off to do their own thing! This is what mine had in mind...

River has been more into horses lately, so this was a real treat! She even waited in line on her own accord (I told her I would save her place while she went to ride rides, but she declined the offer) for about 30 min!

To end out the night, we grabbed a bite to eat at Steak and Shake, and really stayed up "late"! It was really fun to complete the evening with a milkshake and fries! Here's Asher the Fireman rescuing Mama Kitty from a tree. Haha.

It was a fun night for our little family. And we were all thankful for the extra hour, the morning after!

Autumn Fires

2009-10-31T10:34:00.004-04:00

I haven't been taking an intentional break from blogging, just no time lately to even think about new posts. I have, however, been absolutely blessed to have been in the company of good friends sitting around pleasant autumn fires the last two evenings. I came across this poem yesterday, and it seemed so fitting for these fall days.

Autumn Fires

In the other gardens

And all up the vale,

From the autumn bonfires

See the smoke trail!

Pleasant summer over

And all the summer flowers,

The red fire blazes,

The grey smoke towers.

Sing a song of seasons!

Something bright in all!

Flowers in the summer,

Fires in the fall!

~Robert Louis Stevenson (A Child's Garden of Verses)

Fight...

2009-10-22T22:50:00.003-04:00

The first time I saw the "Fight like a girl" slogan, I thought it was genius. What a great phrase and campaign for breast cancer. I often think about how many women have had to fight. Women I know, women I don't know. Stories I hear or read, or stories I tell. But I love to know that we can fight.

My first reality hit with breast cancer was when I was almost 11. It was the week after Christmas, and the week of my birthday. I had just gone back to school from Christmas break, and was called to the office. I wasn't quite sure why, until I saw my mom. She had tears in her eyes, and a look of urgency about her. She told me that my Grandma Betsy was about to pass away, and that we were going to say goodbye. It was a long drive, and by the time we reached our destination, my sweet grandmother had already said goodbye.

She had fought a hard fight. Twice with this enemy. There had been signs, but let's face it...this was 20 years ago. Women with pain or lumps, simply kept going. They didn't complain. They didn't go to the doctor to actually talk about symptoms, and heaven forbid if it had to do with their...shhh....breasts.

When Grandma Betsy finally did begin to fight, she had chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and probably more that I don't even know about, and still that wasn't enough. She was 59.

I remember not getting it until I saw her that day. Not realizing how real this "disease" called breast cancer was. But seeing her in the bed, I got it. I knew how much I wanted her to have peace. Rest. Victory. And she did. However, I wish that I could have celebrated with her still here. I wish that she had had a t-shirt that said "Fight like a girl!" For she surely did.

Today, I went into a shop for something, and one thing led to the next, and somehow the store clerk and I ended up talking about how both of our grandmothers had suffered through this disease. Hers had made it through two battles, and was continuing to fight. Mine had not. We chatted about the struggle, and desire to support others on this journey, or in this fight. Then, she asked me. She asked me if I had gotten a mammogram yet. I was so thankful to be in the day and age where a store clerk would have the guts to talk about this thing that in the past would have been hushed. Or where people would have ignored the lumps under their arms, just to simply keep face, and not be embarrassed. But instead, we encouraged each other in early detection, and confronting and possibly disagreeing even with doctor's advice, to be checked early.

Today's my Grandma Betsy's birthday. I wish that I could have been at a 79th birthday party for her. She would have sang beautifully and then blown all those candles out. She would have played a song on the piano with her bright beaming smile. And she would have had something dynamic and pink on.

Celebrate with me this month. Do it for someone you know. Do it for someone you don't know. But let's press on to always fight like girls. My little way of bringing awareness is trying to wear something pink everyday for the rest of this month. It helps me remember to

think of and pray for those fighting this battle now.

To help bring more awareness, check out any of these sites for great ideas and products.

National Breast Cancer Foundation

The Breast Cancer Site

Fight Like A Girl Stuff

Tuesday Date Night

2009-10-20T15:57:00.004-04:00

Have I mentioned here, how I love to celebrate life? Just kidding. So, lately, my Tuesday evenings are a really fun thing around here. Wanna know why??? My hubs and I have started a new tradition. (I'm making myself laugh out loud right now, just typing that.) "Tradition....TRADITION!" (Sing along with me! It needs to be my theme song.)

We do lots of laundry, but usually don't get a chance to fold it right away. We let it pile up into a huge heap (all clean thank goodness) on the sofa in the living room. Then, after the kids are in bed, we make coffee and watch Office reruns (and sometimes other shows like the Biggest Loser) and fold all our laundry.

Yesterday, I saw all of it in the pile, and I said, I may need to make tonight my laundry night. Hubby said, "Is it Tuesday?" Yeah, it's a tradition.

It's great to be able to actually look forward to doing laundry. And the folding and putting away is the most dreaded part, anyway. But not anymore! Throw the word "date", "coffee", or "Office rerun" in there, and WHAM! It's a new favorite.

A Monday Kind of Tuesday Morning

2009-10-13T13:58:00.006-04:00

It was one of those mornings.

You know the kind. You wake up late. Your husband has an early morning meeting, so you're on your own. Your kids don't want to wake up because they stayed up too late the night before. They finally do, only to be grumpy and whiny...and not to mention SLOW!!

You forgot to pack the kids lunches the night before, so you do it while reading the book that you forgot to read with your Kindergartner the night before. You don't have time to take a shower, because you forgot to get your aerobics stuff together and the stuff for your morning meetings. And to sign the papers in the backpack.

You yell at your kids for taking too long, and roll your eyes at your daughter's all out drama fit...about her eyes hurting and how she can't help but gouge it out with her fist. Then you try to be more patient by telling her she can "help it". That she "can do all things through Christ who strengthens her" because I'm demonstrating that so clearly.

You keep hitting start on the coffee maker, only to realize there's no water in it. Finally you put water in, but don't even have time to drink any. So you pour it into a to go cup, but because you're in such a hurry, you don't take the time to put the lid on properly. So you spill it on your white blouse as you're rushing out the car.

You're so angry by this point that when your 2 year old son is asking to hear his favorite praise song the second he gets into his car seat, that you yell, "NO, I'M NOT PUTTING IT ON!! I just need to talk to God!" Because you know, praising Him is the last thing you want to do.

You get your daughter to school late, and you're rushing so much when you leave the car pool line, you almost get sideswiped by a huge SUV. By this time, you're ten minutes late to meet your 8 o' clock appointment you've had set for a week. With your coffee stained shirt, sloppy hair and barely any makeup on, you confess that it had been a hard morning with a drama queen for a 5 year old. Fortunately, his response was a chuckle accompanied with, "We've all been there. I have 3 girls." You want to say, "Bless you!" but you know if you say too much of anything, you'll just start crying, so you just chuckle back.

Thankfully, the morning got better. I took a deep breath, finally had some of my coffee, vented to a friend who listened so intently and then prayed for me, had another appointment that went much smoother, had lunch with a dear friend who let me laugh at myself and encouraged me simply by being in her presence. I tell you, I couldn't have picked a better day to see these gifts. I mean friends. And in the midst of it all that I "happened" to run across this...

"I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

Yes, Lord, I will bless you. Yes, Lord, I know I didn't this morning, but would you help me. Would you send your Spirit through my pressed lips of frustration, and help me have praise continually be in my mouth. Help this mess of a girl, know your grace and your gifts today.

My Little Joy

2009-10-07T21:23:00.005-04:00

When I was pregnant with Asher, we were excited to choose his name for it's meaning. His name means "happy; joy; blessed". That, he is.

2009-10-01T16:26:00.007-04:00

The other day, Asher and I were playing outside with bubbles, having a grand time. I was looking at him, and not really noticing much in the yard. Everything looked the same. Same as it always does...not much grass, nothing spectacular, just splotches of green here and there. You know...same as it always looks.

And then something compelled me to look up. And I saw this...

All the time I was standing down in my spot, I had no idea what was above me. I had no idea of the colors and the splendor of what was happening right above my head. (they're really much more beautiful and vivid than that, i just don't know how to take very good pictures.)

It reminded me of how our Father works. Sometimes we can't see what He's doing. We might not even know He's working at all. And then, maybe, we look up. And just maybe we see but a glimpse of His glory. The splendor of His majesty working in our midst all the while.

And all we have to do is look up.

Free

2009-09-29T10:53:00.005-04:00

There is much to celebrate today...

In the midst of kids being sick...

In the midst of life being overwhelming...

There is a God who is not overwhelmed.

And a love that is not shaken by checklists and chores.

There is a place that I can hide away

And be.

A place that I can forget about the stuff

To sit at the feet and listen

To the One.

For only one thing is needed.

And I would like to choose the better.

I would like for it to not be taken from me.

I'd like to be like Mary today.

So easily it can be taken.

But not today.

Not now.

Maybe today, I could choose freedom

I could choose

To rest.

Seem simple?

Not for me.

Seem impossible?

Yes.

Thankfully, nothing is impossible

With God.

Mums were Nestled all Snug in their Beds...

2009-09-24T11:29:00.011-04:00

There are few things that I love more than celebrating. We've even changed our business phrase to "celebrating everyday life" rather than "creating for everyday life". It just seems to fit a little bit better.

So, to celebrate the start of Fall,

this past week I bought these beautiful mums,

and nestled them all snug in their beds.

I begged my hubs to go up to the attic and get down my harvest wreath that still smells wonderful with the eucalyptus that has been in there for 2 years

Filled some other fun jars with lots of Autumntime.

I changed out my seascape candle setting to be more earthy

(also this makes a great place for the kids to put as many acorns

as they want in there without them getting all over my house!)

And made my hubby another pot of vegetable soup.

They're not big things...just everyday ways to celebrate this gift called Fall that God gives us every year. What things do you like doing to welcome Autumn? I know I'm not the only one who likes to party! ;)

Will You Ever Turn

2009-09-21T09:10:00.005-04:00

I had a wonderful weekend at the beach with a group of beautiful girls. A few of us that live in our neighborhood took them down to talk about real stuff. Relationships, sex, shame, forgiveness, redemption, breaking free from cycles of sin, were a few of the topics we discussed.

These are girls that have never seen the beach before, girls that don't know how precious they are. Girls that have suffered much more than I could ever imagine, girls that have struggled to fight to even remain alive.

As I dropped the girls off, and drove home, I saw two of our other precious girls, who are were walking down a dark street. Walking with two boys that had the look that they were up to nothing good. I turned around and went back. Even though it was late, even though it was dark, because I hoped so much that they would get in the car. That they would let me take them home. They said no, as they stayed in the shadows, and barely said anything at all.

Will you ever turn back

from wandering down that dark street,

covering your face

as one trying to hide.

Will you ever look back

and see all who love you

All who want you

To have a better life

Than the one you think you deserve.

As I see you walking

I think you're beautiful,

But you won't even look me

In the eye.

Will you ever turn back

And see how much He loves you

How much He holds you

In the palm of His hand.

He'll never let you go,

No matter how you run,

No matter where you hide,

He holds you fast,

He holds you sure,

And though you won't turn,

Neither will He.

He'll never turn back

From loving you.

Set on Pilgrimage

2009-09-11T08:00:00.004-04:00

I have this battle I fight every day. Well, several, if you really want to know the truth. But lately, the most common battle is an ugly five letter word. Guilt.

It causes me to do things like try to explain why I haven't done something a certain way, or to apologize for not doing something I think I should have. I end up apologizing to my husband, my children, my friends, my God.

It makes me feel like I've messed up before I've even begun.

It nags me to the point of giving up, but I don't because the threat of failure is too great.

The tricky thing about it all, is that it doesn't seem like guilt. It seems like truth and conviction. It spurs me on to do it right, and to do it better. However, therein, lies the defeat.

The other day, feeling weary from this familiar battle, I came across this...or rather, I was led to this...

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

They go from strength to strength,

til each appears before God in Zion."

I immediately breathed in the comfort and peace He was longing to give me.

Then I looked up "Baca". The Valley of Baca was never an actual Valley, however the word means weeping. I don't know about you, but I've seen many a Valley of Baca. And I honestly think that much of my striving is an attempt to avoid ever having to enter another one.

But, oh, to have those springs. To have those beautiful autumn rains cover me with pools of strength. I could just sit in them forever, like a child swimming in a cool pool on the hottest day of summer, not wanting to get out, even when their lips are blue and their fingers are all shriveled up. But so often, I forsake the pool, for a cheap attempt to get their on my own.

We are each on this journey, and even though many days my heart is set on pilgrimage, sometimes it's strength is in me, not in Him. I'm so thankful that he reminds me that it is not up to me to be strong enough, and not for me to do it right or do it better. It is up to Him, to live through me, to be my strength and to lead me even through the Valleys of Baca. To go from "strength to strength" till I appear before God, full of His own glorious strength, and nothing left of me.

Splashing Around

2009-09-07T09:52:00.008-04:00

The days have actually felt longer recently. I know they're actually getting shorter, but at our house they don't feel as filled as they used to. I think part of it is just that I miss her being home, or the hours until I see her don't feel like they pass quickly enough.

On the other hand, I have really loved being able to spend such good time with my little man. Oh my gosh, I don't think I've ever seen such a cute boy. And oh, how he makes me laugh!! He is so funny. I truly cherish his sweet tender spirit and ambition towards life.

Today was his first day of preschool. I tell you what, though...after having to dive into Kindergarten, taking him to preschool felt like a puddle to splash around in, rather than an ocean to cross!

He walked in, and all I saw was the back of his head. I stood there for a few seconds waiting for him to turn around, and when he didn't, I quietly slipped into the hall, but felt a tad bit guilty that I hadn't said good-bye. I was thinking what if he thinks I just left him...without even saying good-bye! Clearly you can see that I'm the one in need of help!

Later as I talked to my hubby I told him how Ash had gone in, without one last hug, or one more look, or even a "I love you! I'll be back soon!" He very calmly said, "That's because he already knows it."

all ready for preschool

Have A Seat

2009-09-01T10:30:00.007-04:00

Even though I've been on the go almost constantly this past week, I've been thinking a lot about sitting. Watchman Nee has been reminding me of so many foundational, yet profound truths this week. I picked up Sit, Walk, Stand the other day, and I can't tell you how glad I am to be reminded to sit.

See, like most Christians, I have made the mistake of trying to "walk in order to be able to sit. Our natural reason says, 'If we do not walk, how can we ever reach the goal? What can we attain without effort? How can we ever get anywhere if we do not move?"

Did you hear what says that? Our natural reason! That's what has me bent over backwards every day trying to accomplish something that has already been finished. Mr. Nee goes on to say,

"If at the outset we try to do anything, we get nothing; if we seek to attain something, we miss EVERYTHING. For Christianity begins not with a big DO, but with a big DONE."

How many times have you tried to "do" your spiritual life instead of realizing that Christ has already done everything there needs to be done. I wrestle every day to let God have control, and to force myself to sit in Him. Sometimes I feel like He has to tie me to the chair just to get me to "sit".

"In walking or standing we expend a great deal of energy, but when we are seated we relax at once, because the strain no longer falls upon our muscles and nerves but upon something outside of ourselves. So also in the spiritual realm, to sit down is simply to rest our whole weight - our load, ourselves, our future, EVERYTHING - upon the Lord. We let him bear the responsibility and cease to carry it ourselves.

"Sitting is an attitude of rest. Something has been finished, work stops, and we sit. It is paradoxical, but true, that we only advance in the Christian life as we learn first of all to sit down."

I'm great at walking, but these days, I'm relearning how to have a seat. Won't you pull up a chair with me?

The Big Day!

2009-08-25T16:25:00.018-04:00

Well, we did it! And when I say "we", I mean we!!! I think it may have been harder for me than her. I held back the tears until after she was in her class, and then of course fell apart walking away from her room. I wiped them away by the time I got to the "Boo Hoo Breakfast", kind of ironic, but then shared a few more with a friend or two.

saying goodbye to brother (and explaining how he won't see her "all day long".)

all ready to go!

one more look back

ahhh...the comforting arms of her teacher!

She loved every minute of her day, and came home beaming with accomplishment and success. And it was just the first day. And I've learned that the "good stuff" that I'll hear about the day isn't when I first pick her up. It's when we pack her lunch...I learned that her "friend has a boyfriend that she's going out of town to see. He's five...and he kills animals."

OK, the boyfriend thing was hard enough, but WHAT??? He KILLS ANIMALS??? Who is this kid?? Of course I only said, "Oh. Why does he kill animals?" To which she said, "I don't know. Maybe to eat them or something." I laughed. Then we talked about how we just want to be "friends" with boys, but not have them as our "boyfriend".

So, overall, even with a few tears here and there, it was a precious day. A day full of gifts!

Ready...Set....Go?

2009-08-24T00:01:00.001-04:00

The supplies have been purchased. The teacher has been met. We've gone to the open house. We've even pretended going to school with a pretend lunch all packed up. We've been counting down the days and now there's only one left. And there's only one thing left to do...

Go.

While I still haven't cried, I'm sure I will. And even though it still feels surreal and uncertain, Tuesday is only a day away. And she will wear her brand new backpack, and she will walk in her class. And she will begin a brand new adventure...on her own.

I think that's the craziest part for me. It's not that she's unready or too young. She's totally ready! It's that I don't get to be there. I don't have to be there. She will do it on her own, and I will get to watch and be amazed. It just seems like it's gotten to this point really fast.

As we drove home tonight, we passed by our local university. We saw families moving in their Freshmen college kids and grilling out in the parking lot of student housing. I told River and Asher that when they went to college we wouldn't just drop them off with their stuff and tell them "good luck". I told them that we would stay the whole weekend, and find out about the town they were in. Take them and their roommates out to dinner, and go shopping for their dorm rooms together. We wouldn't be an absent part in such a vital transition to that life on their own.

Something about having that conversation made me feel like we are literally going to blink and be there. Not dropping off at kindergarten, but at college. We'll be taking her and her roommate out for dinner and shopping for futons, not just her first Hello Kitty backpack.

And this is when I start to cry. And this is when it hits me.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

2009-08-21T08:16:00.005-04:00

With all of the coming and going these days, getting ready for big things for friends and family, I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and visit. Or go to the grocery store.

So this morning, I poured the cereal, topped with fresh berries...all ready for the milk. Until I realized...we were out of milk. I usually go to half and half when this happens, and just water it down to be a little bit more like milk. The kids always enjoy this and say loudly, "Coffeemilk!" In case I don't have either of those, usually I have vanilla yogurt. None of that either. Wanna know what they had for breakfast?

And they ate every bite.

The Countdown Has Begun

2009-08-12T18:02:00.003-04:00

When you only have 2 weeks until something, there begins to be a push. I start feeling like it's really getting close, and I know I still have a little time...but not much.

Yesterday marked the "only two weeks left" point until River heads off to school...not just preschool...or preK....the really thing...Kindergarten. We've started our planning...what she's going to wear, and what she wants her hair to look like. But we haven't gone school supply shopping, yet. I was tempted today at Target to go down that aisle, but Daddy wants to come with us, so we're waiting. I steered her the other direction before she could see all the exciting pencils, notebooks, and folders. I did let her buy paper lunch bags. Even though she has a lunch bag that she'll be using. I tried to talk her out of it, but there was something about getting them that just seemed right.

I started getting nervous two weeks before my due date with my babies, even though they were both almost 2 weeks late. I started getting really excited two weeks before my wedding with all the last minute details that were happening. I start getting really itchy two weeks before I throw a party or have an event I'm coordinating. I ALWAYS get really excited two weeks before Christmas.

There's just something about 14 days that seems so close, but feels too far away to grab hold of, and makes you want to enjoy every single day to the fullest. That's what I'm trying to do at least. When the tears start to fall, I'll let you know.

What We Love Best

2009-08-10T21:43:00.005-04:00

There is no way to say how much I needed our anniversary trip. I mean, I think it's been a full year since the two of us have been away together. And let me just say, that's too long. Last year I needed red roosters and antique shopping. This year I needed salty sea air and sand between my toes. It was perfect.

We actually had adult conversations without being interrupted. We got to hang out on the beach with no one needing anything. We swam really far out to a sand bar and rode lots of waves. We had a romantic ocean front dinner and had a delicious dessert (on the house since it was our 10th). We tried to remember things from our honeymoon (day by day), and I was very impressed with how much my hubs remembered...even what we ordered at the different restaurants! We took a late night walk on the beach. We laughed a lot. We watched a great movie. We slept in. We talked about our future. We drank coffee.

But more than anything, we just enjoyed being together. What we love best.

No Shadow of Turning

2009-08-07T09:16:00.006-04:00

Well, we've made it. Past the wonderfully exciting, yet emotionally draining, first years. Past the hard five-seven year hump. Past the endless diapers and sleepless nights. And here we are. 10 years later.

The things that speak of our love for each other now are not found in big bouquets or "perfect" moments. Instead, they are found in the simple things...

our morning coffee mugs ready and waiting for us to start another day together

our hands overlapping for a few minutes here and there throughout the day

early morning snuggle sessions with each other

I know I mentioned this hymn the other day, but lately I've found myself singing it more often. One reason why we asked to have this hymn at our wedding was because of how true the words would be in our lives together. As we stood 10 years ago, holding hands in the front of a church, we didn't know exactly how we would see God's faithfulness, but we knew we would have no other hope but to trust in Him.

We have struggled before and will again. We have laughed until we cried many times. We have fought. I have yelled (not him so much). We have barely made it financially more than once or twice. We have loved and we have failed to love. We have journeyed through many days, and will continue on as long as we're alive.

Our marriage is standing strong, admist the storms that life would throw at us. But it's all because He is faithful to uphold our union. He is able to carry us through it all. And we will see how Great His Faithfulness is forever and ever. We will have "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!"

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Sometimes...

2009-08-06T13:42:00.005-04:00

Sometimes...only sometimes...I get to be this super fun, cool and crazy, girl who has teenagers come over to her house to do things like watch the So You Think You Can Dance finale. And sometimes, they even have fun.

Now, I just have to keep these pictures a secret, so they don't kill me for publishing them.

Faith of a Little Child

2009-08-03T14:49:00.004-04:00

A child's heart before God is something that I dare say is one of the most precious things ever. This past Sunday, I was blessed to sit behind a sweet little girl, my daughter's age, who just wanted to lift up her hand to praise the Lord. She sang with hand raised, and then would stop. And then would get back up, and start again. Not because her parents were doing that...they weren't. And not because anyone else really was...they weren't. Just because she wanted to worship. She wanted to be before her God, and worship. She didn't care if people saw her. She didn't care if her arm was tired. She didn't even care that no one else was raising their hands.

It was such a sweet picture of abandoned trust and adoration that tears came to my eyes as I watched her. I thought about how much it must make the Father smile to see her fully given over to Him. How it must make His heart burst to see such reckless trust and joy in praising Him. How pleased He must be with her precious heart loving Him.

Later on, as I was singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness", I was thinking about how we sang that song at our wedding, and how true it is. How I have never gone a day without having what I needed. How I can fully rely on Him for my every need. How, even though there have been definite hardships and struggles, there has not been one that He has let me go through alone. And as I worshipped him in Spirit and truth, I felt Him say ever so gently,

"Do you know how much it makes me smile to see you fully given over to Me? Do you know how much my heart bursts to see such reckless trust and joy in praising Me? Do you know, Melissa, how pleased I am with your precious heart loving Me? Do you know that I see you as MY little girl?"

As the tears rolled down my face, I watched the little girl climb up in her Daddy's strong arms and lay her head on his shoulder that was made just to hold her head. I thought to myself how I wish it were that easy for me to climb up into my Father's strong arms. To know that He is waiting ever so patiently for me to rest in Him, as a little girl should. To get there feels like such a feat, instead of just knowing that in Him is where I can lay my head down, and be held close. To be held up, and to not worry about the cares of this life.

Catching Up and Falling Behind

2009-07-30T10:47:00.007-04:00

I'm either getting slower, or just taking longer to get the job done. Lately, it feels like I'm moving at a snail's pace to catch up. Or maybe, just maybe, I'm enjoying more of the process, instead of just the finished product. Either way, it's Thursday, and I just now feel like I'm caught up from getting back from vacation. It was so much fun, and it definitely could have been longer!

I remember the summer that my sister's middle boy was 2, and seeing him sleep on her chest at the beach. I thought that it was the sweetest picture of rest. He was totally content to be all sandy, but snuggled up next to Mommy, sleeping peacefully. And that was the last summer that it happened. By the next year he was chasing after everyone and everything as fast as he could. So when Asher fell asleep on me on the first day of our trip, and I couldn't help but get Randy to get a picture. Because most days he naps in his bed, and because he probably won't be napping much longer, and because it may not ever happen again. As I held him for those minutes, I treasured the gift. His sweet little face, sandy from playing, and warm from the sun. His tiny body so worn out that even the short walk back from the beach was too much for him to handle. His paci, even though he still has it, being a sign that he's still my baby. It was probably one of my most precious times of the week.

Here are few other action shots from our trip...

I think it's proof that we had a great time, when my 2 year old was watching me upload the pictures he kept saying, "Mommy, I want go there again!"

On another note, can you believe it's almost AUGUST!!! Even thinking that makes me almost have a panic attack! In the rush to get caught up, I feel the tug of all there is to still to do. It feels like I'll never really get caught up, because there is always something waiting to make me fall behind. To finally find that falling behind is inevitable, and that to "catch up" is only an illusion, is definitely making it hard to be me these days. But in that process, there is joy to be found. That's what I want to find...not just accomplishment. But to truly to find joy in the midst of chaos, and rest in the midst of life.

Now I just need to go apologize to my children for telling them not to bother me while I was posting about how precious they are to me.

Too Smart For Your Own Good

2009-07-25T23:58:00.008-04:00

As we were driving back from vacation today, I was thinking about when I was younger. Maybe it was because I was with kids that are at stages where I used to be...you know the stages where you think you know everything? They aren't necessarily rude about it...they just are so sure that what they think is the solid truth. And there's just no sense in arguing with them. I have to laugh when I think of the things I used to believe. Just to allow you laugh at my expense for a few minutes I'll share some of my pre-teen wisdom.

~ I used to think that after having your first wedding ring(s) for a while (probably about 10 years), you got to trade them in on better and bigger rings. You know, kind of like an upgrade on an old car. Too bad that one's not true...my 10th is right around the corner!

~ I remember telling my dad in all seriousness that the New Kids on the Block were going to be the "next Beatles". I can still remember the way he chuckled about that one. After all, I had heard it on the radio so it HAD to be true...right?

~ I went through this very sad, and very confused time in middle school where I actually was a duke fan. Yes, I had to type that in lower case letters...I can't believe that it ever happened. It was PEER PRESSURE I tell you! I can't be held responsible for my ignorance. ;) (Or for thinking that Christian Laettner was cuter than Eric Montross.) It wasn't long before I realized the brainwashing I had undergone, and regained my Tarheel stance. ughh...the shame on that one. Oh, and btw, I stood right behind Eric Montross in line at a grocery store a few years back, and I totally changed my former belief about him, too. Don't worry, I was with my husband!

~ Guns and Roses were the best band EVER, and I had the posters to prove it.

~ My favorite car was a red convertible, and I thought I might get one when I turned 16!! I was so realistic.

~ I thought that I was smarter than my parents, and that there was nothing new that I could learn.

Oh, the joys of being young. I'm so glad that I know more now than I knew then, and that there's still so much that we all have to learn. What are some of your pre-teen and teenage follies? Or were you too smart for your own good? haha.

Out of the Gray

2009-07-23T23:25:00.005-04:00

I'm so out of touch. We've been down at the beach, and I'm just now able to get online, and it's the first time since...since...SATURDAY!!!

(shhh...my sister thinks i'm just checking my email...heehee....i'm not supposed to be on for more than a minute....)

I mean, do I have a problem or what? It's not like I spend hours every day, but it's wild how out of touch I feel with the world at my fingertips! You would think that this week of no contact and no email would leave me feeling totally at peace, but instead, I uh oh...uh oh...ajksdl;fjdklsa;I don't have any more time....been compromised. Talk soon...

over and out.

Changes in Attitudes

2009-07-17T07:14:00.003-04:00

A lot has changed around here recently. It's been fun changes, but it's left me with little to no time to be in front of the computer. I've missed typing and chatting, looking and learning. Recently, I've been given the opportunity to actually do what I went to school for...imagine that...using my degree!! Scheduling around my husband's work schedule has been a little tricky, but I've remembered a whole side of me that I hadn't seen for a while. Kind of like when you see a friend that you haven't seen for years, and when you see them, you realize how much you've missed them. All this to announce, that Rekoncile Design is officially open for Marketing Direction & Events Coordinating. And, an even more amazing gift, is that I've actually started doing Interior Decorating more with our company, which is a dream come true!

Another change, that isn't so recent, is our van. I haven't told that story here, but it has totally changed our lives! Remember when I said I was going crazy without one, and we were praying for one? Well, not too long after that, a family at church had this fairly used, but only few years old, van that they were selling. Basically, they said we could have it, and pay as we could. I mean, when does that happen in today's world??? It's meant that I am fully in a mom mobile, but like I said to a friend yesterday, it's so great having the space, I don't even care. My ideas of never being the mom with the minivan has gone right out the window, and I'm so glad!

And finally, the last thing that's about be changing, is that my little girl is starting Kindergarten. You know how a couple months ago, I was completely unsure what in the world we would be doing for her come this fall? In April, the answer came in a thin envelope. In the few moments while opening it, I braced myself for the future that I was waiting to for. I knew that if she hadn't gotten into the magnet school, that we would have to choose whether to home school or send her to the school in our district that does not have a very promising environment. I knew God was in control, and that we could trust Him. But somehow, I thought for sure, it would be a hard decision. We held our breath and opened the letter. As I frantically scanned it for any answer I saw the top line in bold, "Magnet Acceptance Letter". I started crying, of course. So in just about a month, River will be attending a wonderful Spanish Immersion School that is only about a mile from our house, learning another language, and loving every minute of it.

I think somewhere in the back of my mind, I have believed a lie that says, "You will always have a hard life. A life of suffering." It's subtle, but nevertheless there. So when these things just "happen", it's like I can't believe that God would be so kind. All along, I've known that He wants good things for me, but that I will only know His goodness through hard things, and suffering. That I'm just not a person who has these blessings fall in their lap. Slowly, He is melting that lie away. And in the places of stillness, He is saying over and over again, "I love you, I'm taking care of you." It's a truth that I think I believe, but it's becoming more and more of a reality to my heart.

Watching and Waiting

2009-07-11T15:12:00.005-04:00

My annual summer cold has arrived and because of that I've found myself sitting a lot more over the last couple days. Last night, after I put the kids to bed, I collapsed on the couch, too tired to clean up the kitchen or fold the laundry...both things I knew I needed to do. But instead, I decided to veg out to a movie I found on TV. It was one I had seen before, but not for a while. I was happy to see it again, especially because it was an easy to see romantic comedy. As it finished, I realized another movie was coming on. Then I realized, it was the same movie! So what did I do? Did I get up and turn it off, knowing that I still had chores to do? Of course not! I stayed right there, and saw the first half that I had missed the first time around. Eventually, I fell asleep on the couch, right after I had said to my hubby that I wasn't tired enough to go to bed. Typical!

Then, this afternoon, I decided to finally listen to an audio testimony that I had been wanting to hear for a while. Some of you may have already heard it. It's from a woman who was dying of terminal cancer, but who knew that death is not dying. This dear Mommy, passed away this past week, which made it seem more appropriate to hear what she had to say, while she was here. This testimony, opposite from my romantic comedy, was not something easy to hear. It was not a fake-feel-good movie that makes you forget about the sorrows of life or the tragedy that strikes everywhere. It was better. It was real and it was true.

I've never been very good at handling sadness and sorrow. From a young age, I learned to ignore those emotions, and stuff a lot of positive thinking on top, as to not let out what really made me sad. It just felt too hard to deal with the pain. I taught myself to be strong, and to only cry in movies. So, you can better believe I cried in movies! Hard! It was my outlet, and sometimes it still is.

But as I listened to Rachel's testimony, I did cry, but not to cover up my own pain. And not tears that would silence hers either. But tears from the hard truth that we live in a sinful world, full of sickness and death. And I cried tears of joy, to know that one day, there will be no more sickness. And there will be no more pain. And we will see our Father face to face.

But tears shed also, because of the awesome truth that we have when we know how real Jesus is. That He is not just someone to sing about on Sundays. That He is not just someone to read about sometimes. That He truly is our Only Hope, and the only Way. He is.

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know in full; even as I am fully known." 1 Cor. 13:12

A Little Chuckle

2009-07-09T22:24:00.005-04:00

Today as I was listening to my daughter sing songs with a little microphone, I was impressed at all the little songs she knew by heart. And then, she started singing Three Blind Mice.

"Three blind mice,

Three blind mice,

In my Bible book it says,

Three blind mice.

Really?? I've never read that scripture! It made me laugh. Instead of shying away from the song, she just put in the words from "God Made Me". After all, it's the same song, right?

Jumping In

2009-07-07T09:02:00.007-04:00

Last night after dinner, my hubs, the kids and I went out on the front porch with our ice cream cones. As we were enjoying our dessert, my husband prompted the simple question to the family, "What does it look like to trust God?"

Our oldest started shouting out things like, "praying!...love!... joy!" in search of the "right" answer. Our son went along eating till his ice cream cone fell face down...the original reason why we went out to the porch.

Randy went on and asked when the kids jumped to us from the side of the pool if they thought we would drop them. River shouted out an emphatic "NO!" Exactly.

I love the relentless trust that our little ones have when the spring from the side of the pool, straight into our arms. They don't hesitate. They don't doubt. They simply jump in.

I believe if we fully knew how much we could trust Him, we would jump. We would jump in total abandonment and even in freedom. We would let Him catch us. Even if we didn't know where we would land or how we would get there...we would jump. That would be my prayer for us today. That we would have the faith of a little child and jump.

Don't forget to check out other great posts about enjoying the gifts of the everyday at Tuesdays Unwrapped. As Em says, "Tuesday is becoming my favorite day of the week."

Heeding the Battle Call

2009-07-05T22:07:00.006-04:00

This week about 25 kids from our neighborhood are headed to camp. These kids are smart, sweet, and beautiful, but also are from at risk environments, and know how cruel life can be. I had wanted to be one of the counselors this week, but God made it clear that it wasn't going to be possible. Camp is a time of fun, but also a time of retreat. A place where these kids can let down their guard, and just feel. Feel joy. Feel pain. And the way that they connect with God and each other, allows them to draw near to Him, in a way that doesn't happen every day.

Today as we prayed for the leaders at church, I felt the Lord leading me to still consider myself a part of the team, but as an intercessor. As someone thinking and praying for them here, and lifting them up before the Lord each day. So as I sat down to post about the Fourth of July, and our fun time this weekend with friends and family, my heart was burdened for these precious kids. Who don't even get to be kids for very much of their lives. Their freedom does not come so easy, which makes me want to fight for it that much harder.

Fireworks or gunshots,
Who can tell?
There's much to feel
And a need to be real.

I want to write life, peace, and joy
But the honest truth is that there's
Much more to the story.

The truth isn't always pretty
Isn't always neat.
And justice is waiting
To be found in the streets

As fear sets in,
And the enemy draws near
I pray that tonight you will sleep
And know that there is a path made clear.

For your Father above
Is watching all the while
And even though it seems He's far
His hand is quick to love.

Come close dear ones,
Draw neigh this night
And know His promises
For you are held tight.

Yard Sale Drama

2009-07-02T13:54:00.005-04:00

I've been trying all day...no...all week to get to my computer to tell you about last weekend's yard saling! I went at the request of my sister, who had several things in mind. I was hoping that we could find a few things, but knew that it would be a stretch to find exactly what we were looking for. But, we also had yard sale drama that I couldn't wait to tell you about. I know you all think that every time I go yard saling, everything goes completely perfect without any problems. But that's not always the case.

My sister, like the organized person she is, looked online and found all the yard sales in her zip code. She entered the addresses into her GPS so that we would have no trouble finding them. If you know my yard sale technique, this is totally not my style. I was almost jumping out the window to follow the neon signs that she sped past while sticking strictly to the instructions that the GPS girl was giving her.

Randy has been renovating her kitchen, and so she was hoping to find some fun things to spruce it up, without having to spend a fortune on the accessories. With having a budget of $40, here was her list:
-pot rack
-kitchen accessories
-canisters
-fabric for kitchen

I know you're thinking...is she crazy?! $40?? A POT RACK?? That's what I was thinking, too. But I kept my mouth closed, and went along to see what we could find. We started out and at first didn't see much. But after looking a little more, we stumbled upon a pair of red candle sconces. I had already told her that having some pops of red would definitely dress up her dining room and kitchen. After thinking of where they could go, we bought the pair for $3.

We went on to another, and were excited that it was in a nicer neighborhood. As we walked around, we noticed that the lady had some high prices. But of course, we were willing to barter. My sis found a set of white bowls, which had a price tag of $8 for the set. We asked the lady if she would take $5 for the set, to which she agreed. Then, she asked if we had seen any clothes that would work for us...clothes that her daughter had put in the yard sale. We had seen the clothes, but had seen her prices at $4 a pair of jeans, and $3 for shirts, and had thought..."naahh." But at her persistance, we decided to take another look.

We found a few cute tops from Holister and a pair of fun designer jeans. We made our pile, and decided we would make an offer. This is how it went.

Sister: We found a few things and wanted to make you an offer.

Yard Sale Lady: (slow and hesitant) Ohh...kay...

Sister: We were thinking all of this for $10.

YSL: (disgruntled) Well...this one shirt costed $50...so...

Sister: Yes....but...this is a yard sale.

Y'all. Oh my gosh. I almost couldn't stand there, I was about to die laughing. Here I had been thinking it, but then my sister just came out and said it. The lady looked like her eyes were about to burst. So then, this is what happened.

YSL: (shaking her head in disapproval) I guess...

Sister and I: Thank you.

YSL: You're welcome...I guess.

I AM SO SERIOUS, Y'ALL. She really said that!! I couldn't believe it. I was so aghast!! So, then I decided to try to explain it to her a little bit. Obviously, she was not the usual yard sale hosts.

Me: I just don't think you're going to get $4 for a pair of jeans. I mean, it's a yard sale. People aren't going to pay for each item at those prices.

YSL: (ignoring me, and turning around)

So, we left, and I ranted for about 5 more minutes. And then again to my husband. And to my sister in law. And some more with my sister as we've been wearing her items this week. But I think I'm over it now.

Have you ever had an experience like this at a yard sale? I know some of you are scared to death that something like this might happen, thus the reason you avoid them at all costs! But, most of the time, people are not like that. I actually, in all my yard sales, have never had quite an experience quite like that before.

We continued on...and at the next yard sale, guess what we found?

A brand new...in the box...copper....POT RACK...for $15!!!! Yes. The man hosting this one was an elderly man who you could tell was having a hard time parting with all of his collections from over the years. We talked with him a little about his things. And then we found some fun vintage Ball jars to use as canisters in her new kitchen. Our grandmother always had them on her counter filled with rice and noodles, so we both loved them! I think he took $6 for the set of 3.

We had a blast, and decided that even though the lady was snooty, that she just didn't know about yard sales. But that the sweet old man at the last one definitely made up for her snootieness! It was a fun morning full of adversity and adventure...and never a dull moment!!

I can't wait to show you pictures of her kitchen all dolled up, but that will be another post!

Covered

2009-06-26T09:40:00.005-04:00

You may remember last year about this time of year hearing about my Rose of Sharon rescue. Today, I began to fight the same weeds that were so fierce last year. However, this time, the whole time I was pulling and pruning, I heard this noisy squawking above me. I looked up and saw a face I knew. From my kitchen window, I had seen him many times, and always enjoyed being able to be so close to him, with only a window between us. I knew that he enjoyed that big overgrown bush, but I didn't know how much it meant to him until today.

The closer I got to "his" bush, the more he squawked at me. I figured that there must be a nest, but I couldn't see anything. I stopped all my whacking and pulling, and tried to see what he was so upset about. As I peered into the big massive bush, I saw her. She was so beautiful, and almost invisible at the same time. Her dark wings were spread completely over their home, and she held her most beloved possessions closer than she ever had. She was terrified, yet stayed completely still, unrelenting to give up her position.

Ever so gently, I felt the Father say to me, "Let it go. They're protecting their home and their family." And so, once again, I let down my hands, and I stopped.

As I walked away, I saw the Father's heart so clearly. He is our shepherd, ever watchful, and so vigilant at protecting us. And yet, He stretches out His wings over us, and draws us closer than we could ever know.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4

Let Them Praise Him with Dance

2009-06-24T14:25:00.005-04:00

This past year, I was able to be a dance teacher for a dance ministry we have in our neighborhood. Every week, we got together with our girls...but not just to dance. I've mentioned here before how I grew up dancing, but my experience was quite different. There was always a lot of competition, comparison, and individualism. And none of it ever had to do with God. So, needless to say, I love that these girls get to not only dance, but also get to pray, eat, sing, tell stories, choreograph, worship, and just share who they are...before us, and before God. It is such a gift to be a part of. And this isn't just doing little movements to the words of a song. They're are quick changes, and multiple dances, and several different styles of dance that we incorporate. And without the least bit of training these girls just shine out talent and beauty that you wouldn't believe.

We had our end of the year program just a couple weeks ago. It was amazing. So many of our kids families came to cheer them on and celebrate what they had been working on all year. Let me just say, that never happens. Most things that we do in the neighborhood, the parents don't or can't come to, and it breaks my heart. So when almost every girl had someone there, being excited about what they were doing, I couldn't help but tear up.

Through the year, going and being with the girls, is always fun, but it usually take something like a whole performance for God to wake me up and show me how big a deal it is for these precious girls. They are getting to do something that they would most likely never do, and are able to see how beautiful God has truly made each of them.

"They have been loved with an everlasting love, and are being drawn with His loving-kindness" (Jer. 31:3) and I'm so thankful to get to see it happening right before my very eyes.

Another awesome thing that I love about this dance ministry is that my little girl gets to be involved. This is a picture from the end of the year program, with River right in the middle of all her friends that she gets to learn with.

You Like Tomaetos and I Like Tomatos

2009-06-23T00:10:00.007-04:00

This past weekend, we had fun celebrating Randy being the awesome Dad he is to our two kids. But along with everyone, we're pinching pennies these days, and so we didn't really have an actual gift picked out for him. I tried to think about what things we might like to do together...that don't cost money. And things that I could make...hmmm...

One thing that's funny about my Randy and I is that we are total opposites. Most people after they've been around us a little will ask, "How in the world did you two end up together!?" He's a thinker, I'm a talker. I love being around people, and it kind of stresses him out. He's quiet, and I'm ...we'll you know the answer to that. And even though we do like many of the same things, most of our favorite foods are very different. I like cream sauces, he like's red sauces. I like comfort food, he likes raw veggies...all the time. I love steak, and he can do without. I like chocolate pie, he'd prefer apple. He's big into beans and veggies and I'm more of the bread and butter kind a girl. And the list goes on. So, taking my Mom's advice (AGAIN) that "homemade presents are the best presents" and I decided that my gift to him would be making his favorites for the weekend.

I started out with a black bean dip. Then made some hummus. Then, his all time favorite, that I could care less about...vegetable soup. He's had like five bowls already. We had a big Sunday brunch after we got home from church. And then we finished with presenting the cake that as Asher said...."It's GEEEN!!" River had to decorate the top with a "family" of strawberries. The big one in the middle is Daddy.

Even though my sweetie and I are completely different, there's no one I'd rather be raising a family with, and spending my life with. I'm so thankful for how God made him...even though I still would rather have made a chocolate Ganache cake than a Watergate cake. But I have to say, it turned out pretty yummy. Now go check out all those other make-you-laugh-make-you-cry stories over at Chatting At the Sky!

Days to Remember

2009-06-18T23:42:00.005-04:00

The past couple days, I've gotten to spend a little time with my grandparents. They've been married over 60 years, had five children, and my grandfather like many grandfathers (or fathers) fought in WWII. Time with them is rare, but over the past couple months we've gotten to have some good quality time with them.

I've come to appreciate time with them so much. The "advice" offered from my grandmother doesn't happen as often as it use to, and when it does, it isn't offensive. Now days, there are more compliments than criticism, and more encouragement than reproach. As a kid, and even a young adult, I would brace myself for our visits, knowing I could hear any number of things that would make me feel like I had it all wrong. But, there really has been a change over the years. And I find myself looking forward to our time together, and loving when we get the chance to sit and talk. I ask them about their childhood, and their early married days. I inquire about recipes or get my granddaddy to tell me about when he was in the war. The knowledge and stories that they possess feels like a history book that I can't put down.

My granddaddy has always been the same. Content to sit and listen, and sometimes doze off, but while still half listening to what's going on around him. His memory is definitely fading, and his time spent reminiscing isn't always accurate. Yesterday, he tried to convince us that he had ridden a skateboard when he was young. We all got a chuckle out of that one. My grandmother rolls her eyes and smiles.

I sometimes think about how much I want to grow old with Randy. How I want to be that old couple shuffling along down the street barely holding each other up, but still holding hands. Experiencing life to the full, and living to know my great grandchildren. And even though I know that I want that, it doesn't mean that future will be an easier one to live. I think that somewhere in my mind, it seemed like, if I lived to be 100 years old, and still was married to my sweet hubby, and had had a great life, that it wouldn't be so bad to lose the one you love. That it would feel like what was supposed to happen, and not really be too bad.

I know my grandparents have loved living such long lives. And I know that they feel so blessed to still be together. But I think that there is a different kind of loss that you face. I see my grandmother being so sad at who she knows is drifting away. And of course she knew this would happen one day. But, another year goes by, and that person you've been best friends with your whole life, just isn't there anymore. And you realize, that no matter how long you have with someone, it's never easy to let them go. Whether it's when you've been married one year, or 65 years. You don't know what the next chapter will look like, even though you know it's closer than ever.

So, for now, every chance we get to see them, we take it. And every story I can hear, I listen. For these are the days to remember.

Leaving Footprints

2009-06-16T23:28:00.006-04:00

Last week when I was over at Em's, we both were saying how Tuesdays Unwrapped has begun to slowly seep into our thinking. We stop. We notice. And we are grateful.

As I was looking for gifts to unwrap today, I came across this. (no, not the dirty dishes)...

I almost erased it with a quick swipe of my sponge.

But then...I stopped. And I saw. And I was grateful.

Grateful for my sweet little boy and his tiny dirty feet. His dirty feet that go everywhere, and jump off of any surface they can find. His dirty feet that climb and explore til his little heart's content. His little feet that chase me around and laugh out loud with joy that I only hope to possess. His little feet that love to live life, wherever he is. Even on a kitchen stool.

The Start of Summer

2009-06-14T23:43:00.008-04:00

I really feel like summer has begun. You know it's here when the things you smell most are sunscreen and chlorine. Remember those blond boys I told you about? We got to have fun with them again this weekend. Most of our time was spent either at a pool or a trampoline, so you know...how hard can it be, right?

When I was little, one of my favorite things about the summer was getting to play with my cousins. We lived several hours away from our cousins and only saw them a couple times a year. That being so, we always had the awkward-get-to-know-you-again kind of time. You know, the time where you re-learn basic things like, "What's your favorite food?" and "What grade are you in?" But then after you get past all that, you start playing again. And you remember how much you love these friends you call cousins.

Today, my two little ones had the chance to not only play with their big boy cousins, but also their precious little baby girl cousin. It was so great to see all of them together. Splashing, jumping, swallowing half the pool...but whatever. They had so much fun. And guess what? We found our camera!!!

kids and DiDi

Little tan bodies all piled on the steps

Auntie Ash and Baby Avery (or "Baby Aaayy" as Asher says)

River loves her "new baby cousin"!

Asher and DiDi

Let Down the Hands

2009-06-09T13:38:00.004-04:00

As I walk through the war zone I call "home" I know I need a rest. I feel the need to sit and be still, but, like most days, I tend to not give into that need. I tend to see stopping or being still as being weak. Like I'm not being strong enough or good enough to get everything done. Or I give into the thought that tells me that I should be still later. But later never comes.

Every day, I make my kids take a rest. Even if they don't sleep, they have to stay on their bed (or sometimes on the couch) and have some time and space to just be still. I know that a rest is what they need. I see them yawning and rubbing their eyes, and I know. They just need to be still and rest. It seems like I would take my own rule to heart, but usually, I just have too much to do to take the time to be still.

Last week I learned that the Hebrew meaning for the word "still" is to "let down the hands". I've always known that it was not my nature to be still. As long as I can remember, I've always been busy...or the more positive word to use would be "involved" or "active". But it really just is being busy. Going here or there, doing things with this group or that group. I was always actively involved in school, dance, theater, church, social events, etc. etc. And today, is just the same. Just because I'm older doesn't mean that I've stopped running here and there. It just becomes more difficult to "let my hands down". Not only are there things to be involved in, there are people to take care of! Not only is it just dressing myself, and cleaning my room before I run out to do do do....now it's dressing myself and my kids, feeding my family, cleaning my house, working in the yard, and as you know...the list goes on. So, how much harder is it now to let my hands down??

"Be still and know that I am God" it is not something that God says we maybe should do every once in a while. It's not something He suggests is a good idea for some of us. He is saying it to us all. "Be still...Be still and know that I am God." "Let your hands down". He's begging us, "Take a minute and know that I am God. Know that I have it all in my hands. Know that it will be ok if you play with your kids at the park instead of doing laundry. It will be alright if you study my word instead of tackling the house right now. I am God, and I love you. And me telling you to let down your hands is for your best."

I don't have a choice about it. Not if I want to obey my Father. Not if I want to do what I know is truly best for me. He is calling to you. He is calling to me. To take a minute and know that He is God. If I truly want to know Him today, I have to stop and rest. I have to let my hands down, and be still.

Brought to You by the Letter "C", and the Number "5".

2009-06-03T14:58:00.005-04:00

Inspired from my friend's title the other day, I had to use it today for myself. My grocery list caught my eye the other day, when I realized everything on it began with the letter C. I mean, it was getting kind of weird, so I decided to add a couple other things. But before I did, this was what was on my list:

coffee
chicken
carrots
celery
cabbage
croutons
craisins
corn
cheese
cottage cheese (double c's...score!)

Is something wrong with my brain?

And, oh, my emotional 5 year old. It's not always like this, but if my daughter was 15, I'd think she was PMSing. This morning I thought I never hear the end of the drama.

First it was her eyes.

5 yr. old: Mommy, my eyes hurt.

me: Well, don't rub them, they'll just get worse.

5 yr old: They really hurt. (still rubbing)

me: Sweetie, you've got to stop rubbing them. It will only make them hurt more. You're being too rough on them. You have to be gentle with your eyes. They're very valuable to your body. (who know's why i said "valuable" but whatever)

5 yr old: WHY??? They can't break!! They can't fall out!!! (screaming through tears)

me: But by rubbing so hard, you're making them more sore. You're irritating them so much that they'll start to burn.

5 yr old: I CAN'T! (still screaming and crying) They really hurt!!! They're burning!!! They hurt so bad they feel like they're bleeding!!!

me: Ok. Well, we're at the park. Should we stay and play with your friends, or should we go home and do hot compresses?

5 yr old: Stay at the park. (stopping the rubbing and the crying) Ugghhh, I think I had an eyelash in them.

me: Uh huh. Probably so.

Then later the drama was over leaving the park.

5 yr old: Why do we have to leave the park?

me: Because it's time to go home and have lunch and take rests.

5 yr old: But why can't we stay longer? (starting with the high pitch whiny voice) They're staying longer! Why can't we??

me: Sweetie, you and your brother are very hungry and very tired, and it's time to go home and have lunch and naps.

5 yr old: I don't want to take a nap. That's boring!! I HATE THIS!! (she's been using this word lately like a curse word - very emphatically, and with so much emotion)

me: (looking at her with warning) Watch it.

5 yr old: (sobbing and screaming) I don't want to go home. I NEVER want to leave. I want to live at the park!!! I want to live at the park!!! This is the WORST day ever!!!

me: (thinking - seriously? Is this for real a conversation I'm having?) (speaking very calmly) We have a park right down the street from our house. We don't live that far from the park.

5 yr old: (enraged) NOT THAT PARK!!!! I want to live at THAT park!

me: Well, we couldn't really live at the park. (trying to bring reason into the conversation) Where would our beds be? And where would our food go? We have to live in a house, not the park.

5 yr old: (acting like I'm the one being irrational) MOMMY!!! I'm saying that we could LIVE in a HOUSE at that park. So that we wouldn't have to leave right now. You could just walk home and get lunch. Then we could stay LONGER!!

me: Ohhhh. Well, even if we lived at that park, we'd still go home for lunch and rests.

It went on a little bit longer. Not the yelling, but the crying. Oh, the tears. And I knew she just needed to let it out. But once we got home, I held her and rocked her while she cried for a while longer.

Thankfully, she is not this dramatic everyday. Some days, but not every day. I know that most of it is being too tired. Or just having a day where everything bothers her, and nothing goes right. And I feel like that sometimes, too. So, even though I was tempted to tell her to cut it out, and to not be so irrational, I want to be a mom who encourages her to be able to feel. Even when it's irrational. To let out her emotions in an appropriate setting, without hurting herself and others. I want to love her even when she's a basketcase. Because I know I'm loved like that by my Father. I know that He patiently listens to my crazy thoughts and feelings. He waits while I have my tantrums about whatever it is I'm going through. Then, He waits for me to run to Him. Then He holds me and tells me that He loves me. And He never tells me to shut up, and get it together. He lets me fall apart, and still be loved just as much.

My prayer is that one day, she'll run to His arms, not mine, and be filled with a love that's bigger than mine could ever be. Until that day, my arms and lap are ready and waiting.

Shoo Fly!

2009-06-01T23:59:00.003-04:00

This past month, the kids and I have talked a lot about bugs. All different types, but I have kind of been partial to my favorites...caterpillars and ladybugs. Caterpillars, mainly because they turn into butterflies. And who doesn't like butterflies. And if you don't....what's wrong with you??? They don't hurt anyone, they don't bother you, they just fly around and look pretty. Same with ladybugs. Not to mention they're red and get to have polka dots. Definitely fun to see. Anyway, even though I've acted excited about finding bugs with the preschoolers, I am not a huge fan myself. But of course, I don't want my kids to be all scared about bugs, so I've been trying to keep my cool. I've checked out fun books like this one, to show how neat bugs are. We have bug catchers and songs, and so on and so forth. Well, I think the bugs are ganging up against me to show them my true colors.

The other day, my least favorite...a slug was on our morning paper. Keeping me from being able to even take it out of the bag and read it. And then, these weird pincher crawly bugs are in random places around our house. WHY???? I mean, I've never seen them before, and now, this spring they're like the mascot of our home. Then today, I was pulling down the driveway, and all of a sudden this wasp flew right in the front seat of our van. So, I'm all trying to quickly put it in park and jump out before I get stung, without wrecking in my own driveway, for fear of the wasp above my head. Not to mention that I've been blessed with my first mosquito bites of the season! I'm in bad shape if summer's not even begun, and I'm already dreading the bugs!!

Buy Coffee...Free Slaves.

2009-05-28T15:19:00.003-04:00

A couple weeks ago, my hubby and I were blessed to be able to go hear about some horrendous facts and amazing deliverance stories about people enslaved. Not figuratively...Literally. You may remember when I posted about it here. You may not remember the number of slaves today...not 100 years ago...today. I'll remind you - over 27 million. I was and still am pretty blown away by what that we learned. The man that spoke was the executive of International Justice Ministry, which is a tremendous organization. If it makes you sad to think of children being in slave labor, or women being sold into prostitution, I would urge you to look into partnering with IJM.

However, whether or not you feel led to partner with IJM longterm, I bet you drink coffee...or know someone who does. In May only, Storyville Coffee is having a "Give It All Away in May" campaign, and they are giving all of their profit to International Justice Ministries. Not a tenth. Not a percentage....ALL of their profit this month alone will go to IJM. Maybe you could use it, or give it away, but this is the last week. Think about trying their coffee...and bringing freedom to the captives. But, hurry...there are only a couple days left in May!

Simply:

1. Go to www.storyville.com
2. Purchase coffee or home-brewing equipment.
3. 100% of your purchase price will be donated to IJM. Yes, every dollar of your purchase (including shipping) will be donated to IJM.

"In Every Person, There is A Family."

2009-05-26T00:14:00.005-04:00

We just returned from a great trip to see many wonderful people...some family, some friends, but all loved ones. This morning, while chatting over coffee, with one of these beautiful people, she was talking about how every morning she goes to get her coffee from a little farm store. She greets the employees by name, and even sometimes gets to listen in on their lives. We shared how much we love being a part of others lives, and then she simply said, "you know, in every person, there is a family." And in such a small statement, I felt like she had summed up what I love about knowing people.

Returning from seeing so many in our own family, old and young, and then seeing or meeting other people in other families, I couldn't be more inspired to continue being amazed at how God has made each one of us completely unique. Made to know Him, and made to know one another. We are all such gifts to each other. It makes me sad when silly things get in the way of seeing that. Things like, being too busy, or having too much drama, or being too hung up on all things that aren't right about the person or situation. I like being able to just be. And enjoy the "family" in each one of us.

So hopefully, coming back, I'll be able to enter into this summer a little more restful. Having seen much, and loved many, and hoping to continue on in that journey.

For the Love of the Game...or Hunt

2009-05-16T15:44:00.005-04:00

There are lots of things that I love about going to yard sales. The hustle and bustle of the no-nonsense early birds. The sleepy eyed 'good morning' that you get from the hosts. The wheelin and dealin to get the right price. The finds...oh, the finds that you can find. But I think my favorite thing is the way that I always feel like God reminds me that He knows what I need, down to the simplest of things. Sometimes I feel like He's been eavesdropping on my thoughts, and knows exactly what I was just thinking I needed. And then I remember, oh yeah, He already knows all of them!

Yesterday, I was separating an egg in my fingers for a cake that I was baking, and I thought to myself, I really need to get an egg separator. And I still use my mom's old cheese grater that really should be only kept as an antique because of all the rust on it. But I just never think of getting a cheese grater. Well, I found both of these handy gadgets today at a cute little Chinese woman's yard sale for the grand price of a $1 (for both).

We have all these mis-matched glasses, from different sets, that I love using, but we keep loosing them. My son happens to knock them off the table, or maybe I clank one too hard in the dishwasher, you know the deal. So, we've been down to just a couple, which gets kind of hard when you want to throw a dinner party. I haven't really thought of it much, but then this morning I found a whole set of the glass bubble tumblers, which I love! For $3. Yeah, new glasses!

Having people over is one of my favorite things to do...especially for special occasions or holidays. I went to one yard sale today, and I saw all of these beautiful silver plated antique serving dishes. I knew they would probably be asking a lot, because they're worth a lot. I remember seeing similar pieces on my grandmothers table for holiday dinners and always thinking it looked so fancy. I didn't see any prices on the pieces, so I simply asked the older lady what she was asking for them. She got excited just to talk with me about the pieces, especially when another little blue-haired lady walked up, and said, "Oh, that takes me back." I went to the car and got my checkbook and paid a big $20 for the five piece beautiful set. I can't wait for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I've always loved those old vintage ornaments that are the gorgeous handmade glass of all different shapes and sizes, and all different colors. I was at one sale today, where a WHOLE BAG of them were in the "free pile". I even said, "Are you serious?"

My husband doesn't really get to play disc golf often. Ok, pretty much not at all. But the other day, he was getting the urge to go with all this nice weather we've been having. We happened upon a whole stack of discs for a $1. Now, at least he can play without worrying about losing his only one. Not that he would. haha.

On the way home, after all our shopping, my kids were happily playing with all their "new" toys -some of which were just freebies because of how cute and sweet they are...ummm...or maybe because it was almost 12 and people were getting ready to give the rest to good will - either way, they got loaded up with some fun things. My daughter said, "I love yard sales! You get new toys, and people give you stuff!" It was music to my ears.

*sorry for the lack of pictures...our camera was stolen, so for a while you'll just have to invision all the lovliness! ;)

Bittersweet Celebration

2009-05-13T14:33:00.005-04:00

As I sit here and type, I know that I'm taking a risk. I'm risking that I may not be able to take a shower in a minute, if the little ones wake up early. This is really my one break in the day, and I should be spending it taking care of myself, right? Well, right now, taking care of myself, is sitting down and typing for a bit.

On Sunday, I had a fabulous Mother's Day. I was able to unwrap (literally) gifts of blessings in my life. I was surprised by flowers picked by my beautiful daughter, hugs and kisses galore by my sweet son, a latte made and brought to me in bed by my handsome husband, and then...my actual gift. My brand new red Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Y'all...I cannot tell you how long I've wanted one. But I can tell you how long I used that stupid piece of crap hand mixer - 10 years!!! I guess it wasn't that big of a piece of crap if I used it for that long, but you know what I mean. It was $10, and it started smelling like the motor about 3 seconds after I had it on. So, anyway, you can imagine how excited I was about my gift.

The day went on, and I realized how much I love sharing life. Sharing life with my family. Sharing life with my friends. Sharing life with the Body of Christ. And then, I started to miss her. You know, the one who the day was really all about to begin with. I started to remember how much I loved sharing life with my mama. And how much she would love seeing me as a Mama. Giving her kisses. Using her petnames and phrases. Laughing her laugh. Making her recipes for my children, the same way she did for me. Even using a Kitchen Aid mixer, just like she did. And I just wish that I could pick up the phone and call her. Or see her smile one more time.

It's a bittersweet time for another reason, too. My sister's late husband would have turned 36 yesterday. THIRTY-SIX!!! At his funeral three years ago, one of the songs we sang was "Give Me Jesus". If you know the song, you know the chorus says, "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." I have to tell you, there have been times that I have wondered if I truly believe that statement. It's easy to sing it when you have everything that you want and need. But, standing in the little white church, with tears rolling down her face, and three small boys all around her, I remember her singing, "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." I also know that there have been times since that my sister has said, "No, you know, Lord, honestly, I'd rather have my husband. This is just too hard."

In our feeble understanding, we cannot fathom how great the next page of life is. We cannot begin to see how full of a life our loved ones who have gone on before us are truly living. I know in my head how wonderful heaven must be, but what is here is so much easier to be attached to.

So today, in honor of my brother in law, we will go pick strawberries. My sister always made him strawberry shortcake for his birthday, so it's become a tradition for us to go together now. To think of him, and to enjoy strawberry shortcake for him, even though I know the food he and our mom enjoys now is far superior to anything here. We will pick, and we will smile. We will eat, and we will cry. Because that's what this life is about. Being able to still enjoy the celebration, even when it's a bittersweet celebration.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

2009-05-09T19:12:00.009-04:00

Over the last couple weeks I've seen or heard horror stories of girls River's age cutting their hair. I've been so glad that I haven't had to deal with this incident myself, knowing how much I love my little girls long blonde hair. Even though I just got mine chopped, thanks to your good advice, I really love her long locks.

This morning I was excited to go to the Farmers Market for yummy goodies and fresh flowers. So, after an episode of Dora, I told River to go brush her hair to get ready to go. She was only in there about a minute, when I hear...

"Mommy, HELP!!!"

She walked out of the bathroom with a COMB - not a brush like I had asked - tangled and wound tightly all around and stuck in her hair. It was wadded up in a MASS. Finally after I asked several times in a mad voice how this had happened, she confessed that she had wrapped and wound and twisted several times around her hair to use similar to a curling iron. Only without having brushed it yet from bedtime. It was only a couple inches away from her scalp.

Well, Mommy could not help. Her patience were too rattled, and she only ended up pulling and hurting. So Mommy went to the Farmer's Market. Daddy tried to help, with excessive globs of conditioner and two hours of soaking. But still, no progress, even after Daddy broke the comb out of her hair.

Did I mention that we were supposed to be at a Mother Daughter tea party in a few hours...that we were hosting a table at?

I called my salon in a panic. They were booked. I called Great Clips, but then decided not to go that route this time. I called a cute salon for girls that I had seen many times in passing, but never gave much thought. The girl mentioned the situation to the owner, and the owner said, "Bring her in!" Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "Great, Happy Mother's Day to me!!" You know, making it all about me. And comforting my little girl who was clearly not as concerned as her Mommy was about all this.

After the stylist spent another hour of tearing and pulling and breaking combs, we decided to make the call.

This is what she cut out of her hair.

Need a closer look?

I mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? The stylist said she had seen some bad tangles in her day, but nothing ever this bad. Great, that's what you want to hear.

So, after about another hour, and lots of clipping and curling...this is what we had.

River is excited to have short (and for the moment, curly) hair like Mommy's. Mommy knows that her long locks will grow back. And thinks that her little girl is completely gorgeous no matter how short her hair is.

And by tonight, we looked like this.

Storm Watching

2009-05-05T08:56:00.006-04:00

Rain

The rain is raining all around,

It falls on field and tree,

It rains on the umbrellas here,

And on the ships at sea.

~Robert Louis Stevenson

Last night I awoke to loud claps of thunder and I knew despite my prayers for a sunny day today that we would have our share of rain today. We have our end of year party this afternoon, and this year we decided to do something different. Instead of having an inside pizza party, we decided to do an outside cookout - it's gonna be awesome...if this rain would go away. And as much as I think of the rain as my struggle today, there are much bigger storms that I want to stand against.

I was watching some news last night, something I don't do very often. And a man that was a tornado survivor said something about the storm that resounded with me. He spoke of how the tornado didn't care if the people were rich or poor, mayor or beggar. At the end of the storm, they were all left the same - houses ruined, land torn to pieces, stores destroyed, livestock killed. Left with nothing. They all had to start from scratch, and they all had to come together, to decide to rebuild their town. Even though it was a task bigger than they could imagine, today they have a rebuilt city, that is more beautiful than anything they had before.

Sunday we were able to go to a service that was about slavery still existing today. How over 27 million people are in bondage to slavery today - not 100 years ago - TODAY. 92% being women and children - and 50% being children. Women like me...children like mine. We learned horrendous truths about people being tricked into slavery and amazing stories of slaves being rescued out of bondage.

The question that begins to be overwhelming is "what can I do about it?" And the truth is, is that alone, we can not do very much. But standing together, with Christ, we would be able to. The church has got to find a way to come together, and stand against the injustices in this world. We can no longer sit by and say, well, that happens, and it's awful, but there's nothing we can do about it.

I love how Isaiah reminds us of this...

"The Lord has sent us to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, and to comfort all who mourn." Isa. 61:1-2

And this in Micah...

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?

It is not an option of whether it is our call or not. The Lord has clearly said, this is what I want! This is what I require. So, today I would challenge you to pray for those in bondage - whether they are high school girls in your own town, or children across the globe intrenched in evil against their will, would you join with me to be a part of this storm. Would you offer up what you have to the Lord, and ask Him, to do something about this so present darkness? About this dreadful storm.

In Lieu of National Poetry Month

2009-05-02T17:19:00.005-04:00

April was National Poetry Month. I don't know that because my kids have projects to do at school, or because I'm such a great reader that I just happen to know those kind of things. I know that only because of my friend. And because her love for writing seeps into everything she does, and I love that.

I never had a fun school librarian. I never got excited about reading, unless it was with my family. I don't have memories of ever celebrating reading at school events. The only thing I remember about my elementary school librarian was that she owned a hot air balloon. I guess that's why Kari's idea sounded so cool to me. I was so excited about it, that I decided to read more poetry with my children this month.

About a year ago, my grandmother asked me if River knew all her Mother Goose rhymes. I thought to myself, "What??? Are you kidding me? NO!!!" But, I simply said, "She knows some of them, and loves to read them, but she doesn't know all of them." I even felt kind of offended, like I hadn't been doing something that I obviously should have. But something about what she said stood out to me. I think that there is a part of life that used to be so simple, but with all our things to do and places to go, is lost. Our weeks are spent going from party to party, and event to event. We hardly ever just sit and read. But this month we have opened our poetry books a little bit more, and we have even started learning The Swing together. River can recite the first stanza already! Now whenever we go swinging, it's what she wants to say.

I'm thankful for lots of things about my friend - her honesty, her sense of humor, her love for justice, just to name a few. But this month she not only encouraged me to read more, and to teach my children a newfound love of poetry, she won the hearts of a lot of kids with reading and writing. Not only that, but to actually use it to make a difference in this world. Not a lot of people encourage you to do that. Especially to a bunch of middle school kids to whom a lot of people are just a bunch of punks and gang bangers. Now, these kids see themselves as readers...and maybe even...poets! To hear how her celebration of National Poetry Month went, you can check this out. It's pretty awesome.

Little Joys

2009-04-28T14:13:00.003-04:00

This morning, no, change that...Last night, I started thinking about what I could write about today for "Tuesdays Unwrapped". I knew that nothing was popping out at me, and I wasn't having all those little revelations that sometimes just seem to come so naturally. And we can't find our camera battery, which means no great pictures of what I've captured.

Instead, I had this:

A messy house, and the feeling of no matter what I will do, it will never all be together. A cold that won't go away. Fussy kids. A busy and messy schedule - too much to do in too little time to do it. No toilet paper - yes, you heard that right, and no it's not the first time that has happened.

But I did have these little faces to keep me company. (this pic is actually from Christmas - I need new ones!)

And this sweetie to give me a hug.

The kids and I had a lovely little lunch on the back deck. Where big sister kept telling little brother to leave her birdhouse alone. This is how she explained herself... "Birds of three, let it be!" Oh, the little joys.

Tell Me A Story

2009-04-24T23:05:00.006-04:00

I need a little change here. I've grown tired of my railroad tracks, as much as I love them. When I was a little girl, and I was tired or maybe just a little bit bored, I would say to my Mom or Dad, "Tell me a story about when you were little." I loved hearing their tales of what their lives used to be like. There was something about knowing a piece of them that I could never really see, but through their stories, could know more who they were. They became more alive. More real. More enjoyable.

There's something about the beach that calls me home. I love that when I'm there I think about things like building sand castles with my family when I was a little girl. Or my sister, cousins, and I all pretending like we're wild horses galloping down the shore. Going body surfing with my Dad. Floating out on rafts into the deep, dark water, with my dad, uncles and grandfather, and then being scared as one of them would grab at our legs from underwater. Or countless memories of looking for shells with my Mama. She would find one, pick it up, call it by name (like, "What a pretty Ladie's Slipper!), and then put it in her hand like it was gold that she had just found. I love seeing my kids play in the freezing cold water just like I used to do, and come out blue lips and all ready to rush in and take a warm bath. It's great.

So join me in coming home for a bit. Think of your favorite places. Remember your fondest memories of where you most feel at home. I'd love to hear a story or two.

Unveiled Glory

2009-04-22T23:21:00.007-04:00

My friend has this great idea...and I'm so glad that I finally got around to participating! I love that we can share our stories of everyday grandeur!

Yesterday (Tuesday) I found myself praying for my children a prayer that I often pray. I don't start out thinking to pray this exact prayer, but what many times ends up being my prayer is that they would see God's glory and that because of seeing His glory, they would never turn away. Then, this morning I sat in my favorite morning spot, drank a few sips of good coffee, watched the birds, and read for a brief moment before my two precious kids ran in to give me sweet good morning hugs and kisses.

"Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Cor. 3:18)

As the words entered my heart I thought about the crazy way God does things. If I were God, I would say that the way you get glory is by doing great things. Or by accomplishing great works. But instead of doing, He simply says, look at me. God. Turn your eyes to me, and believe in my greatness, and you will be changed from glory to glory. How amazing it is that He changes us from glory to glory, as we look upon Him. That He doesn't say, bring a veil with you and cover your eyes. That He says, look upon me, and have freedom! Look upon me, and go from glory to glory!

Most days, my "glory" probably goes unnoticed even to me. I don't realize that I'm getting more patient, or that He's making me more like Him. Or that I screwed up everything, and had a great fall-on-my-face-so-You-can-remind-me-I-can't-do-it-alone day. But as I fold the laundry or make a casserole, as I love my little ones and encourage their souls to seek after Him, I truly believe by faith, He is doing that work. Even in yucky old me! And you - it's pretty amazing. To think that our acts of our own accord are filthy rags, but as we look to Him, we are changed from glory to glory, 'even as by the Spirit of the Lord'.

I'm glad that it's as true for me as it is for my sweet little ones. That as they look to the Lord, as they see His glory, they will be changed from glory to glory.

More After Shots...

2009-04-19T08:47:00.006-04:00

We really had a great time at the beach. When we finally got home and all unpacked, we decided to take a couple after shots.

Before and After...Bathroom

2009-04-17T15:39:00.008-04:00

For a while we've been enjoying our newly redone bathroom, but I've yet to show the before and after pics. While relaxing down here at the beach, I was reading an article in one of my Real Simples that I hadn't had a chance to look at until being down here, and it was showing some beautiful shades of green. It made me remember about my bathroom, and how calming it now is.

Even though I love decorating, I'm not someone who knows from the start exactly what things are going to look like. Usually, I decide as I'm in the process. For my bathroom, I was almost sure that I was going to paint it a serene shade of blue. I came home with a great shade of green instead. My husband said, "I thought you were going with a blue of some sort." I responded, "I did, too." But, I love the shade I picked. It's completely tranquil. The name of it is "Pebble" from Valspar.

We knew we had to redo the bathroom - it wasn't really an option. It's our only bathroom, and there just wasn't a lot of room. The vanity took up most of the floor space, so we knew that a pedestal sink would be nice. There was old linoleum, and we wanted tile. But we also knew that we couldn't splurge and completely redo everything. So, the things we chose were a new sink, beadboard to make it feel bigger and give it more character, new floor, and new light fixtures.

this is my only before picture with the old sink/vanity still in. River had "decorated" it for Christmas (thus the napkins everywhere and the original reason for the picture.)

sink out, subfloor exposed

new fixture with same old mirror and medicine cabinet, but a frame made to fit around the mirror to give it a little more class.

i think this shot shows the truest representation of the color "pebble"

It's great. Still simple, but also serene. I love being in there now, verses how much I used to dread going in. Much less...having to let guests use it! To see more pics of the process, check out my hubby's handiwork here. And if you ever think a redoing a small bathroom won't really make a difference, you better think again!

SPRING BREAK, 09!

2009-04-13T21:22:00.005-04:00

Before I ever had my children, I already had fallen head over heels in love with these three beautiful boys. I know they would hate me even saying that, but AREN'T they gorgeous?

They are such a blessing to our family, and we love being with them. My kids call them "brother cousins" and cute things like that. And I get to be the fun aunt, otherwise known as, "Aunt Mama". Even though we live in the same city, we don't get time together like I wish we had. Since my sis is in the midst of clinicals and rotations and other nursing school things that I can't comprehend, we had asked if we could steal them away for their spring break to join us down at the beach. So, thus, the Spring Break, 09.

We decided that we would leave last night after we all had Easter dinner together. So, last night on the way down, we walked into McDonald's at 10pm for a snack and bathroom break. We all went in. It was really fun to pretend for a few minutes like I was this cool fun mom of 5 beautiful sandy blonde's and was all cute in my sundress from Easter, and had my cute husband smiling at me, and wasn't even concerned about the hour. Everyone had those looks like...well, how you would look if you saw somebody walk into a place with 5 kids under the age of 10. It was great.

We got back in the car, and after fighting severely with the stupid seat belts of the too crammed car seats, I shouted out, "We're not getting out until we get to the beach!" Not even 5 minutes later, my daughter says, "Mommy, I have to go again....REALLY BAD!" She had been so excited about her new water bottle with cold water, she had drunk all of it. In less than an hour. Me, not being quite so cool anymore, looked over at my hubby, who was just smiling.

One day, when I was a little girl, probably 9, and was driving my mom crazy on a cross country trip, she turned around, and shouted..."MELISSA, I HOPE YOU HAVE 5 KIDS!!!" I, being the super sensitive and over dramatic child I was, burst into tears. My sister all the while quietly chuckling at my expense.

So we're enjoying our beach time, and loving every minute of having 5 kids...for a week.

A Mother's Lot

2009-04-08T13:53:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, Asher and I were enjoying a little bit of one on one time. He asked to play ball together, which we don't do as often as we should. Coming off such a great Tarheel victory, I couldn't wait to encourage his ball ability. We pulled the goal out and as I did, he asked me to make the goal higher. It had already been raised a little the other day, and so I asked if he was sure. He was.

We started shooting, him with the hard, small size appropriate basketball. Not the Nerf kind. Not the squishy, soft kind. That's the kind he gave me. After shooting several times and missing, me being the supportive mother, asked if he wanted me to lower the goal. He said no. I asked him if he wanted me to lift him up to make it in. He said no again. Or, "uhhh-ohh", which means no.

He continued throwing the ball up, determined to make one in. But one after the other, they missed. He started throwing harder, and bending down lower trying to get more leverage. Nothing. Finally, he shot one that hit the rim, but was thrown so hard it shot right back down at him, and slammed into his face. Hard.

He cried for a few minutes, and as I saw the big red mark on his face, I kissed it and asked if he wanted to stop playing. He said no. And then proceeded to get in position again. Bending low, and having the ball held as rightly as he knew how, he shot it up as hard as he could. I held my breath, just hoping that this time it would make it in....

It went in.

I marveled at his persistence while wondering if this is what mothers go through. Do they stand aside, and without helping, allow their children to try their hardest and fail. Time and time again. Do they encourage after every attempt, even when the outcome is not success as we would call success. Do they love on them when they lose, and when they win? Do they see them get hurt and struggle, only to feel let down one more time? The answer? Yes. Yes, we do. Because without the struggle there would be no victory. And without the disappointment, there would be no character built. Without the pain, there would be no triumph.

I can't help but think of Mary this week. How she was able to see her sweet Son, who had grown into an amazing man, have to face a trial none of us can imagine. To be betrayed by the closest of friends. To be accused unjustly. To be beaten almost to the point of death, only to have to endure more torture. To be made sin, when He knew no sin. To suffer like no one ever has nor ever will. To feel the grip of death, and to even be given over to it. To be forsaken by everyone, even His Father.

The pain that she must have known in those moments is a pain that I do not wish to share. It is a suffering that I would never ask to have. But then, I think about how she got to be Jesus' mother. How she got to see Him live a Holy life. She was able to help shape Him into a man. She saw Him do miracles and display God's glory day after day after day. She saw Him defeat death. Defeat sin. Defeat all His enemies, once and for all. Destroy any grip that death would ever hold on any of us ever again. And as painful as it must have been, I can't begin to understand the pride she must have had when He rose up from the grave. That after every bit of pain and suffering, He had relief. He had healing. He had victory.

"Let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Heb. 12:1-3