Shifting Sand

You would think, just by looking at a simple sand castle, that it would be an easy accomplishment. Something fun to do to pass the time spent on the shore. For some that might be true. For others, not so much.

My older sister had kids before me, and her first was a premie. He just barely made it, and had to fight with everything he had as a little two pounder to make it. He learned early that if you're going to make it in this life, you have to be a fighter, and that doesn't come easy.

Almost four years ago, when we lost my sister's husband, my sweet nephew of only 8 at the time, lost not only his daddy...he lost his best friend, his biggest fan, his closest confidant, his hero, his life. Much of their days together were spent on the beach. Exploring the rugged outer banks, learning to surf, playing in the water, building sand castles with extreme attention to detail.

We love to take them back down to the beach whenever we can, and this past weekend happened to be one of those times. It's funny, when we're getting ready to go down to the beach, all we hear from this particular nephew is...

"I don't want to go. How long are we going to be down there? I'll get all sandy, and it's gonna be cold."

fight fight fight....argue argue argue.

After he gets all that out of his system, he quietly shuffles his big almost man sized feet down the steps and over to the shore.

I think just getting to the sand is the hardest part.

Then for the next hour, or two, or three, he sits immersed in the sand, using whatever "tools" he can find to craft a most beautiful creation. One with great detail and skill...one that his father would be proud of. And once again, I marvel at how this boy of only 12 years, is choosing to fight to live life. How he has to choose to be a part of the rest of our lives, even just to build a sand castle that won't be there tomorrow.

Catching Up and Falling Behind

I'm either getting slower, or just taking longer to get the job done.   Lately, it feels like I'm moving at a snail's pace to catch up.    Or maybe, just maybe, I'm enjoying more of the process, instead of just the finished product.   Either way, it's Thursday, and I just now feel like I'm caught up from getting back from vacation.    It was so much fun, and it definitely could have been longer!       

I remember the summer that my sister's middle boy was 2, and seeing him sleep on her chest at the beach.   I thought that it was the sweetest picture of rest.   He was totally content to be all sandy, but snuggled up next to Mommy, sleeping peacefully.    And that was the last summer that it happened.   By the next year he was chasing after everyone and everything as fast as he could.    So when Asher fell asleep on me on the first day of our trip, and I couldn't help but get Randy to get a picture.    Because most days he naps in his bed, and because he probably won't be napping much longer, and because it may not ever happen again.   As I held him for those minutes, I treasured the gift.    His sweet little face, sandy from playing, and warm from the sun.  His tiny body so worn out that even the short walk back from the beach was too much for him to handle.   His paci, even though he still has it, being a sign that he's still my baby.   It was probably one of my most precious times of the week.

 

Here are few other action shots from our trip...

I think it's proof that we had a great time, when my 2 year old was watching me upload the pictures he kept saying, "Mommy, I want go there again!"    

On another note, can you believe it's almost AUGUST!!!   Even thinking that makes me almost have a panic attack!     In the rush to get caught up, I feel the tug of all there is to still to do.  It feels like I'll never really get caught up, because there is always something waiting to make me fall behind.     To finally find that falling behind is inevitable, and that to "catch up" is only an illusion, is definitely making it hard to be me these days.    But in that process, there is joy to be found.    That's what I want to find...not just accomplishment.   But to truly to find joy in the midst of chaos, and rest in the midst of life.   

Now I just need to go apologize to my children for telling them not to bother me while I was posting about how precious they are to me.

Out of the Gray

I'm so out of touch. We've been down at the beach, and I'm just now able to get online, and it's the first time since...since...SATURDAY!!!

(shhh...my sister thinks i'm just checking my email...heehee....i'm not supposed to be on for more than a minute....)

I mean, do I have a problem or what? It's not like I spend hours every day, but it's wild how out of touch I feel with the world at my fingertips! You would think that this week of no contact and no email would leave me feeling totally at peace, but instead, I uh oh...uh oh...ajksdl;fjdklsa;I don't have any more time....been compromised. Talk soon...

over and out.

A Shoreline Story

There are places that you go in life that stay with you wherever you go.    Maybe it was the first time you went to the zoo, or the first time that you saw an overlook from a mountain view.     For me, ever since I was a little girl, my favorite place to go has always been the beach.   I love it in the winter, spring, summer and fall.   I don't have to have a reason to go.   I just love to be there.

Randy's parents have a place down at the beach, (I know you hate me now) and we got to go down this past weekend.   At first, I wondered if it would be worth the trip down - the work it takes to get down there, the time it takes to clean up and come back home, and all the in between.   But then, once I'm there, it's like coming home.   It welcomes me back, and I bask in the joy of feeling restored.

I've always found such peace strolling the shore, looking for seashells and animal life.   I love shell searching in the winter time because you can always find so much more than in the summer, when everyone is looking for those hidden treasures.   And, similar to bargain hunting, if you look long enough, and thoroughly enough, you're bound to find something.    This weekend was no different.   I found a little starfish, struggling to get back to the water, and after having show and tell with the kids, Randy gently tossed him back home.   I started down the shoreline looking for other shells and I knew it was calling me.  

As I walked down the shoreline that seemed to have no end, each step drew me a little farther.  Farther from my husband and children digging a sand castle, but closer to each new shell that was like gold in my hands.    I continued to walk on finding new treasures in each step, but never losing sight of my family, until they were little specks on the shore.    As much as I loved being able to find new shells, I wanted to return.   To hear their voices, to see what things they were exploring, and to be a part of their story that day.

Sometimes, I think that it's easy to feel a longing for the beyond.   A longing for what's just beyond that hill, or for the time when "that" finally happens.    But the thing is, that hill never comes.   The shoreline could have no end of new shells, and the thing that you're waiting to happen, is always just out of reach.     It isn't about finally finding the thing that gives you joy, the true joy is found right where you are.   Choosing to stay in the moment of now allows you to see the beauty of where you are.    The beauty of now.

So, I turned back toward my family, and walked slowly back down the shore, hands filled with treasures to share.

The Last Few Days

so, i didn't really make the whole "blogging every day" commitment.    big surprise, i'm sure! not having wireless at the condo didn't help either.    ;)   but i did have a wonderful time with our family on vacation.   we're completely blessed to have family that owns a place at the beach, so we don't have to go into debt anymore when we take our beach vacation!    we always go down to Ocean Isle, and then travel over to Sunset to see the rest of the family that stays over there.    here were our favorite parts of the latter days of the trip:

- beachin it every day - at Sunset or Ocean Isle, the weather was just about perfect.    we all had a blast building sand castles, splashing in the waves, body surfing, rafting, seeing family that we hadn't seen in a while, getting covered in sand, and even catching a couple naps.   (i don't think i had done that since high school!)    

- Calabash Creamery - the other ice cream places down there just don't even compete - if you EVER are in the area, please please go get this homemade ice cream!   It's sooo good - especially in July when they make their famous homemade peach ice cream.    We love getting whatever flavor we're in the mooooood for (haha) and then rocking on the rocking chairs until it either drips all over us (if you're too small to lick fast enough) or it's all gone, and you're happily stuffed with the best homemade ice cream ever!

- going out on the raft - my dad always gets his big raft blown up (like a heavy duty boat kind of raft) and then he takes all the grandkids out on the waves for rides.    it's so fun to see them loving every minute of their time out in the water with grandaddy!    oh, and river let us know that she wants a "pink raft for her 5 birthday".   so if anyone sees one, let me know!    ;)

- Seafood Hut - now here's the best kept secret (maybe not anymore) in Calabash.   I would hyperlink, but they're too old school to have a website.   It's been there forever, and it's this little hole in the wall place that only has about 20 tables, and the same waitresses that have been there for probably 20 years or more.    But every night you'll see the line of people (starting at about 4:45 pm) wrapped around the building waiting to get their turn to eat the best seafood in the area.    It's fun to eat there, but this year we did it as take out and enjoyed it back at our place.    Still just as yummy as ever!

- Ocean Isle Pier - ok, so blast from the past - I used to walk up to the pier and check out the surfers, and hang out with friends/family, act like i was cool, etc.     randy decided he wanted to have a date with the kids one morning before anyone else was up, so he and river and asher went down to the pier and walked out to the end.   they even got to see a sand shark that someone had caught!    so then before we left today, we stopped by and went out all together.   it was really fun, and there were lots of kids out surfing.    it was fun.    they have a little diner now, so we grabbed some lunch there before heading back home.    "this is a fun new tradition", said randy as we were walking out on the pier.    he knows how i love some traditions!

- Once - we're quite a bit behind with our movie watching, and have wanted to see Once for a while.   We had netflixed it, and finally got a chance to watch it!   We thoroughly enjoyed it, and loved the soundtrack.

- Playing games - this is a must do for me at the beach.     we really like games, and this year it was particularly fun because my nephews are old enough to learn adult games, and actually be good at them.    We taught them how to play Pictionary and Yahtzee, and they taught us how to play Rubis.   So we had a good time winning and losing!

- DiDi's Kitchen - my mom in law makes the best big breakfast, and she pulled out her pots and pans a couple mornings while we were down there.   we decided her "restaurant" should be called DiDi's Kitchen.    she loves making it for all of us, and we love eating all of it!

- Sunsets on the Deck - it's so nice to be able to go out at sunset with a drink in hand, and just enjoy rocking on the back deck.   we would head out around 8 most nights, and stay sometimes until 10:30 just talking and hanging out.   the frogs start up their chorus right about the time the sun goes to bed, and we just enjoy the music that they bring.    

We had a great time and are glad to have such a fun family!    

The First Couple Days

Well, we arrived at the beach at 1:30 am on Friday night (well, really Sat.), but we were very thankful to not have to deal with the beach traffic Sat.    But we did forget our camera - and Randy's bathing suits.   Thankfully, my dad went by and picked up the suits, but we didn't remember to tell him about the camera.   Oh well.   I guess I could walk around with the laptop and take pictures, but you know, somehow that doesn't really sound that fun.    So, I haven't been as inclined to blog, simply because trip highlights aren't really the same without the pics to go with the update. But, I will tell a few things that have been fun so far.

Pop Pop took us all crabbing on Saturday afternoon and while I pulled up the first crab, and Randy pulled up the next two (as a pair), our little first time crabber, River, caught 14 crabs and 2 fish in the net.    It was her first time, and like everything she does, she was exceptional at it.   She had so much fun, and stayed behind with Pop Pop another couple hours to crab and play "boat restaurant" where the pretend boats would come up to the dock and she would serve crabs and pretzels to all the boaters.

Randy and I had a fun date on Saturday night while the grandparents had the kids.   We went to Giggling Mackerel and had delicious food and fun atmosphere.   We chose to sit at the non-smoking bar instead of waiting 45 min. for a table, but it was still great.    We adopted my friend Kelly's scale of grading and decided we would give it an A for atmosphere, A for food, and A for service.   I got the yummy crab cake sandwich, and Randy got the delicious Blackened Tuna Sandwich.   I kind of wished that I had gotten his, but he let me have a couple bites.   ;)  

The weather has been beautiful, and the ocean perfect.  The water has been calm enough to go far out in the ocean while holding the kids and jump the waves.   I loved going way out when I was a kid.    We would have so much fun with my dad and my uncles and cousins.   My grandad would always swim under and come up from out of nowhere and tickle our legs and feet.   It was just a time every year that we had to be able to bond with family that we didn't usually get to see very often.   Last night at sunset, Randy and I sat out on the balcony and watched another family playing a fun game of wiffle ball, and thought how fun it will be to play games like that as the kids get older and have more cousins and family around.   But for now, I love being able to snuggle them at bedtime, rock as I read them books, enjoy their new phrases, and treasure their first time experiences.    

There's just something about being on vacation with grandparents there, that make it more relaxing!    Hmmm...I wonder why - four adults to two young kids is a pretty good ratio!  We have a lot of fun with Randy's parents and always look forward to being down here with them.

We're all excited because my sister and her boys are on their way down as I type, and we can't wait to have everyone here!