I think about what it means to be yourself. So much of the time, it seems that becoming who we are is not a simple task to achieve. Throughout the day, I find myself comparing. My mom used to always say, "Comparisons are odious", but they still find their way into my mind. I battle to feel tugged in different directions...My flesh wanting to please the world around me, my spirit knowing that my Father is completely pleased with who I am. But there, again, brings up my question, "What makes me who I am."
I co-teach Sunday School to a large group of 3rd-5th graders, and yesterday, the lesson we were talking about revolved around this same question. "Who are you?" We discussed 2 Cor. 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come." We asked the kids what they thought that meant, and surprisingly heard profound understandings from their simple minds. Even as I "taught" my small group about this truth, I knew that daily, I struggle to hold to the belief that who I am, is in Christ. That's it...that's all I am. And that's enough.
Sometimes it seems so silly to be 28 (and if you're wondering I had to do the math to be sure how old I am) and not know for sure who I am. I go to choose an outfit, and realize that it's hard for me to choose without thinking of who I will be interacting with that day. Or which outfit represents me well. Or, when I try to decorate my house, and I think about different styles I've seen, but sometimes am undecided which style I like the best. Is this one really "me" or is it this one? I like that, but I also really like this. It's not even so much as to please others, but just to know what I really like. I think a lot of it is a desire to represent who I am accurately.
I know that I sound like I'm having an identity crisis, but really I think it's more of a "working out". As I grow, not only in age, but in my relationship with the Lord, I see that I desire to know who this creation is, that is in Him. I know that He is the one who will bring out who I am, in the perfect reflection of Him, in my unique way. It's not so much as having to get it "right" with being me...just being willing to become myself, centered in Him.
Monday, February 06, 2006
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5 comments:
I like the new title (the old one was good, too, and of course I like any postings about ID in Christ. A good book suggestion is The Confident Woman by Annabell GIllham, which is all about ID in Christ, but written specifically for women.
I find it interesting that, we understand contextually. Do we not perceive something in a certain way because we also have conjoining ideas buttressed against some newly formed thought? Thankfully, seeking to know who we are actually requires us to fix our eyes upon Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.
Ahhh, to always be centered in Him. This is my constant battle. It is so easy to be pulled in so many directions, to please others, what I think I need ect ect.
He will be perfecting me until I see Him Face to Face! It's well worth the journey~
I can so relate...and I ditto Marshall on the Anabel Gillham plug. Its been a while since I read it, but it has some good stuff.
Another fantastic book is Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. It is 31 daily devotionals based on Jesus' discourse on the vine, and they are only a few pages long so it is easy to read each day. It has been tranformational for me.
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