Monday, February 09, 2009

The Big Question


There are those specific times in your life when you know a particular decision is on the horizon, and you know that it's only getting closer, but you also know you still don't know the answer.

I remember in high school, waiting and waiting to find out where I was going to go to college, and then having to choose which one.   Just about all you were asked was, 

"So what are you doing after graduation?   Which school are you going to?"

And then again in college, and this time, knowing even less.   The big question came, 

"What are you doing after graduation?"   

I remember almost wanting to run away and hide because I didn't have a clue.  I knew that God would work it all out.   And I knew that I would be fine, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.   But I had no idea what that would be.

We're in that spot again.    Except this time it feels bigger because it's about my almost 5 year old, not just about me.    Everywhere I go, and almost everyone I talk with asks that question that is ever present in my mind, too...

"Where is River going to Kindergarten?"

Let me just say, that I really have not known how to answer this question.   Just like the times before, I'm beginning to dread the question itself.    This time, the options feel too many, and not to mention the emotional baggage I'm dragging into it, not even wanting her to be away every day!     This is how my typical answer goes...

"Well, we're thinking about the magnet schools in the area, and have also considered home schooling.   We've looked at the schools in our district but still are very sure about those, either.  We're just trying to look at all the options, and figure it out."

Basically...."I HAVE NO IDEA!"

This past Saturday was the magnet fair, which my husband and I had planned on attending for quite some time.    Of course I came down with the 24 hr. stomach bug that morning.   I forced myself to go, but we only made it to about 4 booths before I was squeezing my husband's arm to signal "If I don't get out of here, I'm gonna die."

So, still no luck in knowing the answer.   And even after we apply to our top 3 magnets, we still don't know for sure.  It's by lottery, so we'll still just have to wait and see.

But the truth, as one of my friends put it this morning, is that it's not THAT big of a deal.   If we put her somewhere that we don't like, we can always take her out and try another choice.   It's not a "forever" decision.    You can tell that this is my first, and I'm probably thinking WAY too hard about this decision.   Wow, just think about how I'll be when she's going to college.   Or getting MARRIED!!   yikes.     

The good news is that the Lord knows the plans He has for her.   Plans to prosper her, and give her a hope and a future.  You better believe I'm trusting in that!!

6 comments:

Whitney Hannam said...

I think the bigger question is, what in the world is on her fingers??? Olives?? I'm already thinking about school for Ollie as well, he's not even 2. Will he come to school with Mom or go be his own person somewhere else...decisions, decisions.

Lisa said...

AMEN, FRIEND. AMEN...

HUGS FROM MAINE

http://sophie4me.blogspot.com/

Karen P said...

We are in the same boat my friend. Getting in to ome of these is harder than getting into college. I am kind of glad it's out of my hands.

melissa said...

thanks, girls...glad to hear i'm not alone in this waiting.

and yes, whit, olives is right! it was before one of our game days, with our mexican dip. yummm....

Hoots said...

i feel your pain.

Ainsley said...

Yes, we're really going through the whole 'what do we do for school next year' thing, too... and it's so hard! I think this might be harder than college, because sometimes it feels like this time will decide their future. But only God can do that... you're so wise, friend.=)