The Big Day!

Well, we did it! And when I say "we", I mean we!!! I think it may have been harder for me than her. I held back the tears until after she was in her class, and then of course fell apart walking away from her room. I wiped them away by the time I got to the "Boo Hoo Breakfast", kind of ironic, but then shared a few more with a friend or two.

saying goodbye to brother (and explaining how he won't see her "all day long".)

all ready to go!

one more look back

ahhh...the comforting arms of her teacher!

She loved every minute of her day, and came home beaming with accomplishment and success. And it was just the first day. And I've learned that the "good stuff" that I'll hear about the day isn't when I first pick her up. It's when we pack her lunch...I learned that her "friend has a boyfriend that she's going out of town to see. He's five...and he kills animals."

OK, the boyfriend thing was hard enough, but WHAT??? He KILLS ANIMALS??? Who is this kid?? Of course I only said, "Oh. Why does he kill animals?" To which she said, "I don't know. Maybe to eat them or something." I laughed. Then we talked about how we just want to be "friends" with boys, but not have them as our "boyfriend".

So, overall, even with a few tears here and there, it was a precious day. A day full of gifts!

Ready...Set....Go?

The supplies have been purchased. The teacher has been met. We've gone to the open house. We've even pretended going to school with a pretend lunch all packed up. We've been counting down the days and now there's only one left. And there's only one thing left to do...

Go.

While I still haven't cried, I'm sure I will. And even though it still feels surreal and uncertain, Tuesday is only a day away. And she will wear her brand new backpack, and she will walk in her class. And she will begin a brand new adventure...on her own.

I think that's the craziest part for me. It's not that she's unready or too young. She's totally ready! It's that I don't get to be there. I don't have to be there. She will do it on her own, and I will get to watch and be amazed. It just seems like it's gotten to this point really fast.

As we drove home tonight, we passed by our local university. We saw families moving in their Freshmen college kids and grilling out in the parking lot of student housing. I told River and Asher that when they went to college we wouldn't just drop them off with their stuff and tell them "good luck". I told them that we would stay the whole weekend, and find out about the town they were in. Take them and their roommates out to dinner, and go shopping for their dorm rooms together. We wouldn't be an absent part in such a vital transition to that life on their own.

Something about having that conversation made me feel like we are literally going to blink and be there. Not dropping off at kindergarten, but at college. We'll be taking her and her roommate out for dinner and shopping for futons, not just her first Hello Kitty backpack.

And this is when I start to cry. And this is when it hits me.

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

With all of the coming and going these days, getting ready for big things for friends and family, I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and visit. Or go to the grocery store.

So this morning, I poured the cereal, topped with fresh berries...all ready for the milk. Until I realized...we were out of milk. I usually go to half and half when this happens, and just water it down to be a little bit more like milk. The kids always enjoy this and say loudly, "Coffeemilk!" In case I don't have either of those, usually I have vanilla yogurt. None of that either. Wanna know what they had for breakfast?

And they ate every bite.

The Countdown Has Begun

When you only have 2 weeks until something, there begins to be a push. I start feeling like it's really getting close, and I know I still have a little time...but not much.

Yesterday marked the "only two weeks left" point until River heads off to school...not just preschool...or preK....the really thing...Kindergarten. We've started our planning...what she's going to wear, and what she wants her hair to look like. But we haven't gone school supply shopping, yet. I was tempted today at Target to go down that aisle, but Daddy wants to come with us, so we're waiting. I steered her the other direction before she could see all the exciting pencils, notebooks, and folders. I did let her buy paper lunch bags. Even though she has a lunch bag that she'll be using. I tried to talk her out of it, but there was something about getting them that just seemed right.

I started getting nervous two weeks before my due date with my babies, even though they were both almost 2 weeks late. I started getting really excited two weeks before my wedding with all the last minute details that were happening. I start getting really itchy two weeks before I throw a party or have an event I'm coordinating. I ALWAYS get really excited two weeks before Christmas.

There's just something about 14 days that seems so close, but feels too far away to grab hold of, and makes you want to enjoy every single day to the fullest. That's what I'm trying to do at least. When the tears start to fall, I'll let you know.

What We Love Best

There is no way to say how much I needed our anniversary trip. I mean, I think it's been a full year since the two of us have been away together. And let me just say, that's too long. Last year I needed red roosters and antique shopping. This year I needed salty sea air and sand between my toes. It was perfect.

We actually had adult conversations without being interrupted. We got to hang out on the beach with no one needing anything. We swam really far out to a sand bar and rode lots of waves. We had a romantic ocean front dinner and had a delicious dessert (on the house since it was our 10th). We tried to remember things from our honeymoon (day by day), and I was very impressed with how much my hubs remembered...even what we ordered at the different restaurants! We took a late night walk on the beach. We laughed a lot. We watched a great movie. We slept in. We talked about our future. We drank coffee.

But more than anything, we just enjoyed being together. What we love best.

No Shadow of Turning

Well, we've made it. Past the wonderfully exciting, yet emotionally draining, first years. Past the hard five-seven year hump. Past the endless diapers and sleepless nights. And here we are. 10 years later.

The things that speak of our love for each other now are not found in big bouquets or "perfect" moments. Instead, they are found in the simple things...

our morning coffee mugs ready and waiting for us to start another day together

our hands overlapping for a few minutes here and there throughout the day

early morning snuggle sessions with each other

I know I mentioned this hymn the other day, but lately I've found myself singing it more often. One reason why we asked to have this hymn at our wedding was because of how true the words would be in our lives together. As we stood 10 years ago, holding hands in the front of a church, we didn't know exactly how we would see God's faithfulness, but we knew we would have no other hope but to trust in Him.

We have struggled before and will again. We have laughed until we cried many times. We have fought. I have yelled (not him so much). We have barely made it financially more than once or twice. We have loved and we have failed to love. We have journeyed through many days, and will continue on as long as we're alive.

Our marriage is standing strong, admist the storms that life would throw at us. But it's all because He is faithful to uphold our union. He is able to carry us through it all. And we will see how Great His Faithfulness is forever and ever. We will have "strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!"

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
there is no shadow of turning with thee;
thou changest not, thy compassions, they fail not;
as thou hast been thou forever will be.

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
sun, moon and stars in their courses above
join with all nature in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is thy faithfulness! Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see;
all I have needed thy hand hath provided;
great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Sometimes...

Sometimes...only sometimes...I get to be this super fun, cool and crazy, girl who has teenagers come over to her house to do things like watch the So You Think You Can Dance finale. And sometimes, they even have fun.

Now, I just have to keep these pictures a secret, so they don't kill me for publishing them.

Faith of a Little Child

A child's heart before God is something that I dare say is one of the most precious things ever.    This past Sunday, I was blessed to sit behind a sweet little girl, my daughter's age, who just wanted to lift up her hand to praise the Lord.     She sang with hand raised, and then would stop.    And then would get back up, and start again.   Not because her parents were doing that...they weren't.    And not because anyone else really was...they weren't.     Just because she wanted to worship.     She wanted to be before her God, and worship.    She didn't care if people saw her.    She didn't care if her arm was tired.    She didn't even care that no one else was raising their hands.     

It was such a sweet picture of abandoned trust and adoration that tears came to my eyes as I watched her.    I thought about how much it must make the Father smile to see her fully given over to Him.    How it must make His heart burst to see such reckless trust and joy in praising Him.     How pleased He must be with her precious heart loving Him.

Later on, as I was singing "Great is Thy Faithfulness", I was thinking about how we sang that song at our wedding, and how true it is.     How I have never gone a day without having what I needed.     How I can fully rely on Him for my every need.   How, even though there have been definite hardships and struggles, there has not been one that He has let me go through alone.    And as I worshipped him in Spirit and truth, I felt Him say ever so gently,

"Do you know how much it makes me smile to see you fully given over to Me?   Do you know how much my heart bursts to see such reckless trust and joy in praising Me?    Do you know, Melissa, how pleased I am with your precious heart loving Me?   Do you know that I see you as MY little girl?"

As the tears rolled down my face, I watched the little girl climb up in her Daddy's strong arms and lay her head on his shoulder that was made just to hold her head.     I thought to myself how I wish it were that easy for me to climb up into my Father's strong arms.     To know that He is waiting ever so patiently for me to rest in Him, as a little girl should.    To get there feels like such a feat, instead of just knowing that in Him is where I can lay my head down, and be held close.   To be held up, and to not worry about the cares of this life.