Thursday, April 03, 2008

You Know What's Grosser Than Gross?

Do you remember when kids use to say, "You know what's grosser than gross?"  and then they'd proceed to tell you something extremely disgusting that you could only think of if you were trying to dig in the nastiest garbage pail of their mind and make something up to make you want to throw up?     How much of a competition it was?    And what about the whole Garbage Pail Kids collection cards?  How you tried to get the nastiest kid, and then show it to all your friends.  I collected those babies!  Yeah, remember those?   I know you've been wanting to repress them, but no more.    Now you may be thinking, that my last blog was pretty disgusting, with all the throw up talk.   And I'm sure that now I've officially lost several readers for using the phrase "throw up" an exorbitant amount over the last 2 posts.   Well, I'll get on with it.

I've been ignoring it, and it's been growing nastier.   The backseat of my car has been absolutely disgusting for the last few days.   Ok, weeks.     I finally decided to try to get some of the crap up.   Not out of choice.  Because I couldn't find the remote control that goes with the DVD player in the backseat to turn on the movie.   So, still haven't found the remote, but here's my list.   And I bet the backseat of my car is grosser than yours - by a long shot.

an old juice box carton
banana peel
the end of the banana
my coffee thermos (still filled with old nasty coffee)
pine cone (I was hoping to make a bird feeder - that never happened)
container with old cheese from a Handi Snack
hundreds of craisins, raisins, cheerios, and other crumb assortment
granola bar 1/2 way eaten
cream cheese container leftover from panera (yes the day we went when asher threw up)
an "emission" container (that thankfully did not have to be used)
consignment sale tag with huge safety pin attached
a frog bath toy
coloring book
baby doll bib
hair clips with hair stuck in them
paper bag
plastic bag
Etcha Sketch
plastic sand rake
car tray
note pad
bag of wipes
used wipes (for hands thankfully)
random paper trash/receipts
jar of peanut butter
water bottle
stale pretzels
lawn chair
diaper backpack
pair of dirty socks
mixing bowl
bendy straw
used juice box straw
1/2 eaten Harris Teeter free cookie
old preschool project of River's

I have no idea how I fit the kids in.


Heather said...

I gotta admit...that's pretty gross! It seems like our van gets dirty easily too...but my kids are BIG eaters, so there's NEVER any food left over in there!

Nan said...

Impressive. Perhaps you win the award!

Kari said...

That is pretty gross, I must admit.

Caroline said...

Wow, how DID you get the kids in the car? I also want to ask - Did you make the list as you were cleaning up or did the just remember all the nastiness and then write the blog?

melissa said...

you know what's grosser than the backseat of my car? me going through all the trash to name all of the trash in the backseat of the car. =)

emily said...

A mixing bowl? Plan on making a cake in there?

And I am one of the readers you lost during the throw up tales. I merely saw the word and said "nope. not today. not ever" So I admit, I did not read that post.

But this one was great. I still think you should have posted a before photo.

carrie said...

Yes! A photo! Don't worry Em, she will have it back up to high levels of disgusting pretty soon and we can get one- no one will even know its not related to this post.
Incidentally, can anyone tell me how to get out playdough shaped into a snake and hardened in the backmost cup holder of the van; with graham crackers, remnants of gum and juice box, salt, and sticker threads stuck to it?? Oh wait, this thread was supposed to be showing how gross Melissa's backseat is...

kelly said...

eeewwww! girl, you are not alone. well, maybe with the mixing bowl, the dirty socks, and the old cheese you are. just kidding...i actually took a picture of my car to use in a post about my mess that i daily drive around in, but you beat me to the punch. it's one of those things i HATE, but somehow i manage to let it happen!

melissa said...

you'd all be so proud of me. this weekend i spent an hour and about 15 quarters getting all the crap vacuumed out of the car!!!

it looks beautiful, and now i've been a little obsessive about it not getting messy again. i even made our trip home from the beach longer, just to eat inside Wendy's instead of bringing it into the clean car. yea, let's see how long that will last. ;)