The past couple days, I've gotten to spend a little time with my grandparents. They've been married over 60 years, had five children, and my grandfather like many grandfathers (or fathers) fought in WWII. Time with them is rare, but over the past couple months we've gotten to have some good quality time with them.
I've come to appreciate time with them so much. The "advice" offered from my grandmother doesn't happen as often as it use to, and when it does, it isn't offensive. Now days, there are more compliments than criticism, and more encouragement than reproach. As a kid, and even a young adult, I would brace myself for our visits, knowing I could hear any number of things that would make me feel like I had it all wrong. But, there really has been a change over the years. And I find myself looking forward to our time together, and loving when we get the chance to sit and talk. I ask them about their childhood, and their early married days. I inquire about recipes or get my granddaddy to tell me about when he was in the war. The knowledge and stories that they possess feels like a history book that I can't put down.
My granddaddy has always been the same. Content to sit and listen, and sometimes doze off, but while still half listening to what's going on around him. His memory is definitely fading, and his time spent reminiscing isn't always accurate. Yesterday, he tried to convince us that he had ridden a skateboard when he was young. We all got a chuckle out of that one. My grandmother rolls her eyes and smiles.
I sometimes think about how much I want to grow old with Randy. How I want to be that old couple shuffling along down the street barely holding each other up, but still holding hands. Experiencing life to the full, and living to know my great grandchildren. And even though I know that I want that, it doesn't mean that future will be an easier one to live. I think that somewhere in my mind, it seemed like, if I lived to be 100 years old, and still was married to my sweet hubby, and had had a great life, that it wouldn't be so bad to lose the one you love. That it would feel like what was supposed to happen, and not really be too bad.
I know my grandparents have loved living such long lives. And I know that they feel so blessed to still be together. But I think that there is a different kind of loss that you face. I see my grandmother being so sad at who she knows is drifting away. And of course she knew this would happen one day. But, another year goes by, and that person you've been best friends with your whole life, just isn't there anymore. And you realize, that no matter how long you have with someone, it's never easy to let them go. Whether it's when you've been married one year, or 65 years. You don't know what the next chapter will look like, even though you know it's closer than ever.
So, for now, every chance we get to see them, we take it. And every story I can hear, I listen. For these are the days to remember.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
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1 comment:
what a beautiful post of love. you are blessed .
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