Friday, October 17, 2008

Running to Stand Still

As I drove frantically to one of my many commitments this evening, I remember searching for my phone in my bag, as if to make sure of something. I knew that I needed to call someone, for something. I was sure that I needed to do something else.

Many times, that's how my life feels. Never quite catching up. Always running - after a child, to an appointment, whatever it is, but I'm running to make it. And usually, I'm not there right on time. Rest is a word, that many days is only an idea.

Today, though, earlier in the day, there was a point that I sat down at the table to color with my children. And there was a song on, that just "happened" to be talking about being fully known with a love that is so much bigger than anything I could create. And as I looked at both of my beautiful gifts, I thought how I had been given more than I ever knew I would. More love than I ever thought I could possess. And above all that, having the gift to live life with a God who knows me and created me with infinite purpose. To know and to love Him. And to give that love to those in my life.

I looked at my little ones, welling up with tears, and just smiled. And then I looked at my daughter and said, "Can I hold you for a minute?" And to my surprise she came and sat on my lap for what felt like a long time for her, only a couple seconds for me. But it was one of those moments that I felt like I really lived life to the fullest. I held her close and felt like I couldn't hug her enough in that moment. So thankful for what I've been given.

Those moments are the kind that I like to last for a long time. And those moments let me see how silly all my rushing about is. But if I don't get to bed, I won't be able to keep up tomorrow. But I also know that the rest that I long for does not come from sleep.


emily said...

Great post, friend. I love the image of you sitting with your little ones while they color. Watching and loving them. What a sweet picture of the way our Father loves us. Thanks for sharing this relevant story.

Miss you!

Sara said...

thats so sweet. thanks for sharing

HiHoOhio said...

Beautiful song and beautiful post!

Jenny said...

how precious. you are such a good mommy. i'm also learning how to rest in the Lord when i don't have physical rest. what a cool God we have. thanks for sharing your thoughts.