Thursday, October 30, 2008

Nosey Mother Confession

River has a friend over today.    For just a minute, I swear they were 14.   They were in the middle of Peter Pan, and River asked me to pause the movie for a minute because they needed to go to the bathroom.    Like a couple of teenagers they made their way to the bathroom together.

A few minutes passed.    A few more minutes passed.   I started to wonder, "What are they doing in there?"    And like a typical snoopy mother, I was seized by the can't help its, and tip toed to the bathroom doorway.    

There was giggling.   And talk of how sometimes Mommy helps.    And how they needed to do this or that.   And, a bang, and then talk of how they didn't break this or that.

As I stood there at the door listening, I could just see her being 14, and getting ready with a girlfriend in the bathroom.   Then, I got a little nervous that they were gonna come out and see me, so I quickly tip toed away.

I know I breached confidence.   Unfortunately, I'm sure it will happen again.   I just can't imagine how it will be when I'm no longer the one hearing all the secrets, or always being the one to help her get ready.    But for now, I can be, and I love it every minute of it.      Even though I love seeing her grow up, sometimes it feels little too fast.


Beth said...

Amen! It comes WAY to fast!

Anonymous said...

This is how my mother started with me. First it was listening outside the door. Then it was listening to my phone conversations. Then finally I got some relief and went to live with my grandparents for a while. But as the saying goes, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and before I knew it my grandmother was going through my drawers and night table. Then I was being confronted about all the things my grandmother had "found" and NONE of it I had any idea was in my room. Sometimes I wonder if she made the stuff up, because I truly had never seen any of it before in my life.... Anywho... 3 years of that hell and my mom and the rest of the family, myself and grandparents all live under one roof. I am getting hit with it from every direction. My mother is on my myspace because she has "friends" on there, but then I am being questioned as to "what do you mean" about a survey response, or a blog I post. Or the time she was trying to help me find a credit card but she thought it was OK to go through my purse and "look" and instead she found my friends ciggs (I do not smoke, I can't breathe around it) that she dropped in my car and I didn't want them to find them and I figured hey I'll give them back to her when I see her. But nope... Mother-dearest found them and I because a "smoker and liar" ....which I am neither.

I am 20 years old, I am a full time student in college but I have to commute. But I am also EXTREMELY PARANOID. I am in therapy because of it, or well at least part of it. I am by no means telling you what to do, because I believe if I was a parent my views would be very different I would probably do the same. But unless you suspect drug use, or sex (if under 18)- When obviously a parent should get to the bottom of it... then I would either

A: not listen in on conversations, go through things, purses ect.

or B: Sure go through things, listen, but if you want to loose a teens trust right off the bat then I suggest you don't get caught and don't bring it up unless it's life threatening, drugs, or sex (if under 18). They would be more apt to sneak around if you do that and they know it. And for the record, being 20 yrs old I have never done drugs, smoked, drank ect. I am in Medical school/collge full time and I have a boyfriend which my mother does not approve of because we have an 8 year age gap. But, hey if I'm in med school, and never have done all that...then what was is the point of "hovering"

I apologize if I've offended you...that was not my intent. I was just surfing the net trying to find something on how to stop a nosey-mother (mine lol).

*and I know you're probably wondering why I am 20 yrs old and living at home where I do have a boyfriend with house and job. Because my parents refused to co-sign my student loan if I moved out...another manipulative tactic.

Ok I'm done now...sorry. My point in all of this is...look at what "hovering" can do to a teen. I am sure you are an awsome mom, and I don't blame you for listening in but...for your teens sake lol..